Words matter. Most of the time, it was because I don’t say anything and that is why people got worst. I think this blog is the way to express what I have kept and think will go away. Don’t probe. At least, it is not what I will tell under any circumstances. I did better in writings. In words that I spoke, I may not be. It will sound a lot worst. If I have nothing nice to say, don’t say. I think this lesson is hard to grasp. You have to think the other way as it was the thinking that is wrong and not what I have to say. My venting ground is here. They thought they got away with it and I thought I can just ignore words. Human can close their ears if they wanted to but that requires lots of training. If you are fully concentrated and focus fully on what you are doing, you can easily do that. I realised, my instructors just have to say something that will put me in deep thoughts. Everything he said onwards will not be heard and my thoughts will think that very first question he asked. I will ask myself a question to do that. Now, I have to think of a question that will put me in that stance. Maybe need more questions. I say what I truly feel. Otherwise I don’t say a thing. When I am angry, don’t ask me to say a thing. Sigh… Most of the time I am coding, if it was a good coding question, I will be easily in that stance. I want to code. I think freelancing is really a more suitable job for me. Cause I am a loner. If I did that, I can do my own structure and design. Now my weakest point is asynchronous.
Doing good to me or using me? Even if you do good to me also didn’t required you to disrespect or undermine me. Ownself so fake said other people fake. Behind talk bad about other people in front smile and praise. Some more about the people who helped them. Couldn’t help look down on them too. I also did good to you so I can undermine you anyhow I like. I merely do what you do to me you already angry. I treated you like a family and respected you but now you lost all the respect so don’t put the fault on me when you break the string first. Some more your character started showing a long long time ago. You didn’t change, you are getting worst. Treat you like gold, you treated me as shit. Once useless, tried to siam as soon as possible. Worst still, putting me as the problem solved all your problems. I also realised why you suddenly unhappy even more than before when I came back. You are worried I would take all that belongs to you. So just prove how greedy you are. I don’t even hav...
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