Words matter. Most of the time, it was because I don’t say anything and that is why people got worst. I think this blog is the way to express what I have kept and think will go away. Don’t probe. At least, it is not what I will tell under any circumstances. I did better in writings. In words that I spoke, I may not be. It will sound a lot worst. If I have nothing nice to say, don’t say. I think this lesson is hard to grasp. You have to think the other way as it was the thinking that is wrong and not what I have to say. My venting ground is here. They thought they got away with it and I thought I can just ignore words. Human can close their ears if they wanted to but that requires lots of training. If you are fully concentrated and focus fully on what you are doing, you can easily do that. I realised, my instructors just have to say something that will put me in deep thoughts. Everything he said onwards will not be heard and my thoughts will think that very first question he asked. I will ask myself a question to do that. Now, I have to think of a question that will put me in that stance. Maybe need more questions. I say what I truly feel. Otherwise I don’t say a thing. When I am angry, don’t ask me to say a thing. Sigh… Most of the time I am coding, if it was a good coding question, I will be easily in that stance. I want to code. I think freelancing is really a more suitable job for me. Cause I am a loner. If I did that, I can do my own structure and design. Now my weakest point is asynchronous.
I finished doing my wallet without cutting myself. I got a poke from the needle though but it was alright. Only that one time. The rest I found a way to prevent that. The cutting mat has been very useful and now it’s filled with holes. Today I got my first cut of the year. Fengshui’s problem. I was taking something from the dark corner near the kitchen sink at work. Was opening the carton for umbrella. Someone asked me to take. When I was cashier, I normally took it myself instead of calling someone unless really necessary. I have cut away the tape but the tape side sick to the wall so I pulled it and I couldn’t remember but just felt sharp pain on my left palm. My left hand gave way after the cover flipped open and the knife on the right hand slashed my palm. Sigh, I should have close it before pulling the cover. It failed to open the first time so I slide it out to cut a second time but worry it didn’t open and kept it that way. Should have trust my instinct. I also think ...
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