我的工作

 我只是来工作的。。。不是来杀人放火的。也不是谁的猎物。I would say, everything is a false start. A project fault is everyone’s fault. A project success is everyone’s glory. Well, it’s a teamwork philosophy. It’s as it is. There’s a window for everything. If you missed it, the impact is great.  Then no matter what you do, it’s always fixing and endless fixing. Development windows is crucial.

I would put work aside as I needed time to do my studies.

 

This is a straw made from rice. After finishing your drink, you can eat it. I did try, it tasted like dry rice. Kuching is going green so there is no waste from straw. This is the second place with this straw. I ate half. I am dieting after eating lamb burger.

We walked past this. The tree was enormous and grand.

This tree covered the while field width from the building and cross the road to another building.

All the clouds in Kuching were like these. Mainly go for lunch or dinner and brother-in-law drove us around.

They were like cotton wools.

This building I thought the container fell on one side. It’s a staircase.

Nice sky. The clouds were as it is and not using speedy camera.

The big cloud on top of one’s head. It cloudy but sunny though. Extreme hot.

That’s from the trip to Kuching. We went to the newly opened Museum. It has lots of stuff that I have never seen and never know. The last time I was in Kuching was when I was 5 years old? or younger a bit cause my brother wasn’t born yet. I only remembered mum trying to put me on the scalding hot canon that was right in front of some museum or some white building for a picture. I think all the picts were lost. Lucky my skirt was thick enough but still can feel the heat. Mum used to buy me lacy many layers skirt. I didn’t really like it because it makes playing around inconvenient. That becomes a memory but the rest was a blur except sleeping at our relatives house and having to sit in a car for days endlessly. The room was dark, no streetlights shining in like Brunei’s shophouse. I was scared and told mum. She taught me a prayer which later on I memorised and prayed without fail every night. Not very often for the last ten years though. I can barely speak English or Chinese but reciting the prayer was ok without understanding a thing. It became a habit.. I copied from a site cause I barely pray with it anymore. I always felt insecure and a cell group leader taught me The Lord’s Prayer.

Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee;
blessed are thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

That’s what me and my younger sister learnt. It did some kind of protect me. It felt like I was protected. 

Well, later on I joined protestant friends in College. I learnt The Lord’s Prayer. 

I believe there is a God somewhere. Almost everyone mentioned a God regardless of religion. God must have existed that everyone thinks the same. Although not all but majority. God knows what you are doing. We know we are sinners. Yet, they are many who knows there is a God but do not know we were sinners. Not every is righteous and not everyone is full of grace all the time. We have our angers, desires and greed. We have too many temptation and we let the grow. That we forget to confess and the more we did, it became guiltless. There we go our way and lost in the wild. I guess to me, a religion, is about knowing your sins and to atone for it. Always remember so you do not lost your way. Only to remember at your death bed. I think God is not someone. God is not a place. God is not a gender. I followed it so I don’t do things I will regret later. I don’t want to be full of sins when I am finally on my death bed. Weird though, Mum taught me this prayer. From living to death, that we hoped for forgiveness. It is not pride, it is not who is real or whose God is the most powerful or whose God is the truth. That time, it was pure blissful between me and God. It was just pure prayers. It gives me strength from bad dreams. Well, not until I grew up to see the evilness of everything. Whatever that is, I guess I have lost myself somewhere that I cannot find it. I think I called that grownup. I guess to have childlike faith was no longer that easy. You become angry and resentful with every small things. You saw the ugliest of things and become the ugliest of yourself. Then one day, somebody came into your life and everything changed. You saw things differently. Slowly patience and everything that you need were somehow manageable. Thanks to my little nieces and nephews. They reminded me of a childlike faith. Their cuteness still lingers although they are all grown now. Well, some still making progress and I hope the world don’t change their good nature and also don’t make use of them. Let them find somebody like them, grow and be together and have kids like their image. Be kind but firm.