决定

 终于做了这个决定，别人怎么说我不理。只要你也一样的肯定。我愿意天涯海角都随你去。我知道一切不容易。我的心一直温习说服自己。

我还是放弃了。终于说出口了。

Finally making this decision. It is hard and I think it is time to put a stop to this. My left eyelid kept on jumping for a few days already and I guess I have to make a decision fast. Well, it seems like I am running away but at least I tried to do so in a way that I hope it won’t end up bad. I do want the fastest way out but I also sorry for the poor young guy alone with the website and ridiculous design although I was not really helping him. He got plenty of stuff to cover.

On my own, at least I can design my own. The current one is really hard to change since it is already operating and structure is there. The limitation is there. Also, this might be the first and last Kiosk I have ever done. It is also the app that I have that has the most number of pages. Even when I did room booking web app, I only have 3 pages. One for login and one for venue booking. One for user management. Although I could have make an admin to add room to the booking which wasn’t really there because i have to do that in a week. Lucky there were no design requirements.

I never worked on anything bigger than that. On my own, at least I don’t have the pressure to hastily make a decision to a hasty half-completed design. I did think the design is a good approach but it will be if that’s done on a design phase. I had a hard time thinking how to twist my code to get that done without affecting whatever that’s there. Need a lot of test or retest everything. 

A journey ends so a new one will come. Hope it will be the most fun ride. We live only once. If I need to be alive, why need to live until so miserable… I hate tricks. Again and again was more than enough. 

For now, at least during collaboration, we still ok with each other. Never even beat each other up or bite each other. I do wonder why we have the same thoughts. Same frequency. Is he a robot? actually I am a bit suspicious but I think will ask him next time. When I talked about a problem, he understands rather quickly from my standpoints. It also means he did his own research. Still alive and well so we can live with it. People borrowed us a space was a great big help already. That’s the best news I think this year although home is still better. 

Well, he just came out of nowhere but I just want to work out a problem to get rid of what I felt everyday at work. Somehow, I felt accomplished even if it’s just a plan. I cannot say how good now though. That worries me but if that falls apart then I can go back figure out on my own. You might see me at McD maybe. Working part time and maybe eat there. Maybe just work weekends or some week days. Then I can go home and do coding while still can eat McD. I think by the time I worked out an app, this current project maybe still ongoing. Then I pressure again. 

I am not using my parents money so it is ok. I am lucky I got mask. People who got a master but owning a food stall also quite happening. I worry standing for too long only but it is ok. That’s to compensate me sitting too long also.