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 In life, you learned. As I have gone through a lot, and I know most things the worst way possible. From the things I see and do. There were many parts which I wished I hadn’t done or could be done in a better way but life is, there is no going back. Probably, if you lived again, you’ll still choose the same. I grew up in a foreign country. I was a foreigner and that’s how my friends and teachers saw it. I am and, still, more like a foreigner in the country I was born. I went on to work in another country. Never in my life, I wasn’t foreign. If human has no country, wouldn’t it be home anywhere? What’s separating a human from another human regardless of our skin, our blood and our hair. We breathe the same air and drink the same water. Food wise you can choose beef, chicken, fish, pork, lamb and many more. 

Malays preferred beef and chicken. Fried chicken. Rendang beef. No pork. If you grew up with Malays, you cannot not eat the beef they made. Indians can be vegetarian and curry with most of the meats. I ate Roti Canai or a.k.a Murtabak for breakfast but here they called it Prata. Chinese preferred Pork/Chicken/Fish. No beef for some. While there are groups that eat anything. I do wonder where it all came from that Malays don’t eat pork and Chinese don’t eat beef. Mainly their belief or faith. If all humans cannot eat Beef or Pork but one religion or the other has been eating it. Why? One religion can eat and the other cannot?

I was out of my mind again. I am really stressful. I guess only Aunty asked me if I was ok. Since she heard me sighing while I was in the room doing work and room door was open. I told her I would quit my job though but the fact that she asked and realised about it actually made the day a bit better although she can do nothing about it. At least without me saying much, she asked. I just brushed it off saying I am ok. There were many thing that will happen in life and you sometimes wonder where will you be if it weren’t here. Who cares? Why here? Probably nobody’s business. 

There are things I did learnt. Lies has snowball effect and eventually devour you. Pride/reputation will make you do anything you do not want to do so you will not lose it. Yet, doing it will make you lose your sanity, integrity and morale into gaining it. It is how businesses lured consumers. It is how scammers always managed to fish money. Mainly Greed comes along with it but who doesn’t want free things. They know and they used this weaknesses against you. Butterfly effect. Laziness, shortcut will get you anywhere in a faster way but not always. Somehow you will have the consequences you have to face. Maybe 1 in 5 get away with it? No, I never know. Stealth. It is good if it makes you think of better ways to solve your problems but the problem only lies with illegal ways, or ways that hurt others to have your way. I don’t think people choose to be this way but it was a preferred way. Who doesn’t want an easy life while still have everything. 

Psychologically, we want to do the least to get the most. However, if you knew the consequences, are you still willing to give in? At times, all these can be caused by the environment. Influencers especially from Business point of view. If you do not get hooked into their strategy, would they be successful? Well, some really were based on good products. Although some do not stay long enough at that status but the good names still exist. Some people maybe suffering and therefore, losing their way because it has always been difficult. When they found a way that they thought will bring relief even for a short term, they will choose the wrong way. If they finds it hard to let go of these relief, eventually it leads to their dooms. 

In my life, I have seen many people who went that way. In fact, there were a part of my life, I have been there. Attracted to the things of the world. A world that I seek until I found the lies. I found my way back and told myself even if without a choice, I won’t be there. I know how awful it was and I told myself not to be there again. There will always be instances you saw the trap, you will cross path again but at least, be without burden so you may stand tall and do the right thing. It started with the very first choice… It may not be easy and you will face a lot of resistance. Time and the world around you, may even break you apart. If you have to live against your own principles, what is the meaning of life? Why do I indulged in things that will hurt me? Well, there are some who did it for their loved ones. It is all a choice. It is decided by fate. If anyone breaks it, well, out of luck. The numbers? were low. Maybe made by the sacrifices of somebody else.