Dishwasher

 This thing is the main subject. Got into a fight with my mum. She said I have never helped at home. I felt like hm… was I invincible? for like from Primary 6 to Form 5. Maybe I was invincible. If I knew it, I shouldn’t have done any because it would be the subject of whatever you have done. Anyway, not wanting to claim anymore but then what’s the point. Don’t be an invincible helpful kid. To me now, is to give them my time because it was always limited. Either myself or other people. Now, where shall we go from here. Actually, I was thinking maybe I should move back to Malaysia. Being a single PR, I won’t be able to buy a HDB. Also living expenses will be pretty high for me and elder parents especially not local or pr. I guess if anything, best is still Malaysia. At least they have their medical benefit as senior citizen maybe. I have to check. Then I can provide the rental and wfh since I am doing my own business. It would be a bit hectic but it may solve the chaos. From the moment I set my foot at home, well, it seemed irreversible. That would be, whether it is silent or quarrel or whatever, it doesn’t change the fact that it was not amenable. After 10 days, back to square one. Should have saved my time. There are things only I knew and they didn’t. There are also things they knew and I didn’t. All in all, if these can’t be broken down…. There won’t be any need to go further. 

If I lived with them, probably need to find a job in Malaysia. I guess being a citizen is a bit easier. Living in Malaysia. Staying in it. Not too bad. Things I worried would be my Malay Language… Sadded. 

I am tired by how my family works. Since young. All I want was just normal. Then I ponder the required things. Ya. I think we need dishwasher. We will need it since there were many people in the house. No one is actually responsible to wash for everyone like I did. If it was ok, then everyone should take turns. Else, everyone is responsible for their own. Unless you give me money. hahahahaha. Anyway, I should start looking for dishwasher. In this world, money pays for everything. If I can take care of so many people before, maybe taking care of 2 were piece of cake but not elderlies. Just worry I got sick only.

I loved my family but the only thing I hated about them is they always fight. Picking on each other. And if a word triggered an action, then it was the only culprit. Be fair. A certain someone will trigger the hatred then it all began. Everything a chain reaction. Yet, this someone is always unknown in the background. It could be anyone. To me, I should have thought of my parents before choosing my job. I should’ve find one that I can be close to them when I settled down. Hm… I do hope they spend time on something more fruitful and not fighting against each other but i knew what happened… Well, at first thought I can help dad recover or at least spend some time with the both of them before I get busy again. In Sg, there are stuff that I need to take care of too. The things that I needed to do actually has one bottleneck. Not being a citizen or having a hdb of my own. Sigh… Things were always complicated on me. I guess in my lifetime, it is all about my parents, their kids and their grandkids…. not that much… but I think sometimes after that, what do I have. Will I have all of them when I am dead? hm… who will be at my deathbed?

The day before, I brought my parents around Tutong. I think the last new year I never drive. It means I haven’t drive a car for like a few years. 3-4 years. 2019 was covid first started but the new year before I don’t think I drove. 

My dad wanted to buy things from Hua Ho. Me, my mum and my dad. I told Dad I will drive. He asked how long I never drive and I told him 3-4 years… He quickly asked mum about it. hahahaha. He got into the car thinking my mum would drive. I got into the driver seat and my mum ignored my dad’s plea to drive. In the end, I told him I will just drive a little until the gate. I did so with lots of comments from both. Appeared to be annoyed but I wasn’t. I got through a lot. These became like trivial.