wah

Heard from sis about wang leehom again. At first, I half believe both parties. After current altercation, somehow, I think the wife should just report to the police. Saw a lot of online users, obviously some that can be bought if you know about how the net works, starting to point fingers at the wife horrendously. If it was done purposely, obviously using the net to trap the wife because it cannot be done any other ways. If it is a divorce, both parties cannot be faultless. The last part was rather a bad act and probably makes me think, he is up to something to cover something. Well, up to this point, from the way he acted, he looked like he could do what the wife was talking about. Although, from my previous point of view, it was half truth, all these actions make it whole as if there is no way he could be the way I think he was in the first place. Unbelievable. This time round, whatever they have in hand, the wife should just hand them over to the police and don't need to think more of the kids or whatever else. Aside, not sure what police can really do about it. That should be better than dragging here and there then got hurt in the end still. A guy no matter what he does, will get out of it (if u saw the news, even the most popular ones still around) but do you think the society will go easy on women? Nope. They will probably be stoned to death or never be seen again. The reason why I think it is better to be single than the probability of landing into one that you will wish you never did. Actually, all I know is based on the net so from the minimal info, just go police la but if the case is covered up because of more influential people involved, then the poor wife will have to have deal with the consequences of having the devil as her husband. If they parted, the husband bad mouth her to the people around her, brainwashing them, gaslighting or whatsoever so he wouldn't be at fault, I will delete him from my spotify even though I liked the songs. He didn't break up amicably but hurting the other person while he doing so instead of sharing the fault and let the divorce go through without a trace of who is right or wrong. If this is the results of why the wife is posting this on social media, I think she did it right. 

Just like when u want to quit ur job. Don't say all the bad things on ur exit interview. or your next job interview. Remember the first time I quit my job, after I quit, everyone got a raise. Does the complains benefit me, well, nope. It will also hurt yourself for doing so because you will be named problematic probably but I was more angry I didn't got the raise from all the hardwork. For that, I pretty much put that down and not hold on to it. Although after parting, should move on cause I will never win. The advice seniors gave me, don't leave with a bad reason, move on with a good reason. It was hard to follow but I tried. Only those who wants you well, will tell the truth. Although, I know lies, but if you don't want me to know the truth, I think I will live without knowing it. I, for some instances, don't really wants to know the truth. One thing I know for sure, don't make lies the truth. 

Truly, I do wonder. Whenever we had some courses, there is a feedback system. I feedback earnestly most of the time, what did I truly got. I learnt things the hard way, I gone through the worst lesson of all but the next got the fruits I planted. Is it fair? Same for a job. If wisdom hits me, if being a Christian means I have to be modest, if being a human, I need to be who I needs to be... I have no answer. I wish I were none of that and I will live happily as I was. Careless, carefree. Will God truly sees me and be the one who rewards me, while on earth, there is nothing but constant condemnation of things I cannot control. Still, I stood by that statement. What if He never sees me. Everyone are free to be evil and without the need to feel guilty?  Everyone by default becomes more defensive. Should I continue to be like I once were? Or be stronger and strike back regardless? I could just linger between these two for years. I believe if I always give in, the whole world will take the chances everytime to put me down. I believe if I don't, they won't try not to put me down. I guess that is just I reap what I sow means. I gave the power to do that. 

At times, it was all for you. I hope one day, I can do it for myself. Things always happened at a rate that I think I have took the wrong steps in solving it. Sometimes, it will always trigger a thought, shall I put my ground and leave the thing hanging there or just leave as it was a bad start afterall? Not that I wanted to but I felt like being stuck in the middle. Do or not, it is all my fault ones. I overheard too many things but well sometimes, I cannot hear because I was thinking. I think I missed out what truly happened. One thing is that I also know something. Not everything, but I know something. even though I can use it, I never took my chance. Not because of my religion. Just because it has no ends even if i do so. Of course, it will drag everyone down but so what. Rush or not rush, the best advice is only do what is right no matter what people has in their mind for you. That's the hardest lesson to learn but with it as you go by, it will become easier. I have not seen how easier it can get but I have not seen how hard it can get too. If I go by it, doing what is right is the only way. That's what I chose to do in the first place. If there is no right way to do, just quit. The most is just not doing it. That cannot be right but it cannot be too wrong. At least I did nothing to take the blame rather than do a lot, then still die. If I am going to die, I rather die peacefully where I did not even care or spend one bit of my effort and time on it. Why spend so much energy when you are going to die right? if the world falls down on me, I will welcome it with open hands and it will be my blanket. Today, I am just speechless 😶. A bit on the wrongful side and almost at the wrongful side. I managed to drag it back. Don't be who you don't want to be. 

I will do just what is right. If it's for growth, I think I can do. Else, just think I am crazy. I felt like I am in the wrong spot. To be or not to be. If this is a question, the level is infinity. I divided it with zero. I called on something that is null. It was empty all the time. But the to do list is always full. The to do always cut the queue. If you know data structure, and you realised your turn never comes when you arrived early, well, the prioritised one has overrides them. Then you do not know and you asked why. That's how it happened in data structure terms. All the times did the extra things that were pointless... After done then say don't need was the part that I always felt tricky. There is a lot of contract but I also have a signed contract. I followed the contract that I signed though. Do what was asked and not when not asked to do. Sigh... Quite right though, otherwise, charge more. Most of the time, I will have my mind stuck with question marks. I doubt I will have answers. 

My time almost up.