2020

3rd movement. It doesn’t sound like there is 3 movement but a bazillion movement… Not that I know what it means or listening to more classical my type but I think it has been keeping me awake. Not sure why. I don’t listen to them all the time but one time I accidentally let autoplay active, before I realised, my list gone off the hook a bit. this music makes me concentrate better. I guess it was the person who played it. Good job. So far I have been replaying it everytime I work and it hasn’t die on me yet. Wondering if that could be played on guitar and probably not in my lifetime if I want to learn that on a guitar. I was asking for sign. Just as I wanted to send my resume, I received a linkedin message for some job opportunities. It was a language that I want to work with and doing R&D!!!!!  Then things kept on happening with the project… It is like driving me out to the open. So I didn’t submit a resume to this job and also to my current contract. This is a dilemma. You don...

 Sometime the world is much kinder to criminals. Kinder people know how to be kind to others inclusive of criminals yet, criminals only have cruelty towards anyone especially the defenceless. It wasn’t always the one who holds a knife, a gun or whatever weapon that determines criminal activity. It was the unseen criminals that bugs life that we are all aware of and lives with it. We know to show what’s not to our real intention or emotion. We are afraid of judgment. Whenever a crime happened, everyone’s focus was on the victim and what the victims should do or should have done. It was the victim’s fault. What the people beside the victims should have done. What about the one who inflicted cruelty to these people? The root cause of the tragedy. Immediately people think about how the victim should forgive the criminal as if that will change everything. The truth is nothing will be changed even after forgiveness. The only one who paid for the crime was always the victim. The cycle goe...

 最该死的那个人，昨天终于死了。也许我不想知道，还是知道了。有时候会想它什么时候死。也许它不值得我去思考。如果有地狱，请去。

 Recently, saw an ex-colleague passed by while I chope table but I cannot remember his name even though I wanted to call out. I thought I recognise the wrong person then I found his whatsapp and msg him. Well, not all the time I recognised the wrong person! I haven’t seen him like 4 years which I don’t know if that is 4 years because I changed phone.  After going through some apps that I did while I was doing bootcamp, didn’t really bring up memory cause I kind of forget those times. Seeing the app back, makes me feel like wanting to work with them again. I kind of thinking the current apps building culture wasn’t really what I anticipated. I do hope to work on those apps again. Wanting to make it better. hm… Do you go for interest or go for money? I cannot weigh both. I was thinking to ask God about it. Hm… God, give me a sign. The database is haunting me… I changed then rush and then change then rush… Sometimes I felt like rushing inefficiently or no sense of what I am rushi...

 Cannot escape documentation. Anyway, I already anticipated that weeks ago that they will ask anytime soon but didn’t really make it because I actually didn’t want to do it. Haha. Well, now gotta spend a day or two in it. yoohoo… too good to be true.

 Everytime I dealt with this project, it feels headless most of the time. I spent sometimes trying to join countless of tables with a senseless amount of time but then realised later on, I needed another thing in it, break it again and join again… Seems like a lot of work done but then I am still on the same point at which what join was the most convenient… The picture and the imagination sometimes not taking place correctly. All the more, the worst part is I still not sure if I should continue with this job. Particularly, the direction was really still lost. I have a feeling that everyone felt that way too.

  I was this close. To cut away. Today it seemed fine and I can no longer find the cuts but the mark where I cut it still remains. I could have severed the vein that was right underneath. Close call. Remember an event where I accidentally pressed the button of a water boiler while my hand was right beneath the water output. Before I could stop that, the water rushed out. My heart skipped as I would have a doomed hand soon. Instead of scalding hot water coming out, warm water splashed on my hand as I retracted from it. Phew. Nobody used the hot water for quite sometimes so the water that was stuck at the output was no longer hot I guess.  My boss just messaged me, he approved my leave on the system. I realised he hasn’t last weekend. Anyway, I was too late to do anything. I didn’t check or bring back my laptop for the notification… sigh… Tomorrow got to go back already… SIGH… Someone messaged me about an opportunity again… I duno if I should response. There are lots of opportun...

 The old saying ideas are cheap. Anyone can give ideas. Yet the one who need to turn ideas to a working one takes the blood shed and all the glory gone to the idea givers. Sad but that’s how it works. Now I realised why the Software Engineer earlier on doesn’t want to work on my idea. Turn it around, the same thing… Learn how to make things work was the true key. Easy job and hard job all in one package.

 There is always the fate. If there is no fate, it depended on faith to move on. Normally, I let fate decides. Demeaning someone doesn’t make a person who knows how to thank or say please polite. Rudeness in other senses wasn’t the solution too. Sometimes, I found myself in a lot of word games or war often and the more there is, the more I wanted to run away. Be like Buffy, took a wooden stake and plunge at your heart. Problem turned to dust. If only it could be that easy. Season 2 was odd. I guess the person who wrote the script changed or they aimed something new.  Finally, I managed to trigger my hand to cut my hair. It has been the 3rd time after Covid first started. I accidentally cut my finger a little bit but lucky it only cut through the skin but not the vein underneath. It bled a little and now it’s healed. Maybe after watching Buffy, my finger can heal by itself. Now, it’s not bleeding anymore and not even hurting. I think what’s on your mind will affect your every c...

 如果不打开礼物，你就不会知道里面有什么。 Watched Buffy. Although the effect and vampires were really fake but the acting was really good. Almost feel like I was back to secondary school waiting for 8/9pm which I don’t remember and I would switch to Star World on Astro. Well, not always I get the chance to watch because of everyone fighting for the controller to watch any other thing but what I wanted to watch. I realised, so far, I don’t remember watching any of the episodes in Season 1. It’s already 3 weeks, I only watched until episode 9. At one point, I wanted to fast forward but then there is really none to fast forward. Their script was good I guess. Straightforward and to the point. Wasting no time. The last part was about nightmare and I realised that was what I was feeling. Everyday, it feels like a nightmare. A walking nightmare. Fears that became true. My nightmare became real. Like the fear to even use my laptop or continue with the current works or not even blending in to the culture or l...

 Wanted to watch TV on a Friday night but Aunty watching back Fierce Wife. Hahaha. She is watching back old shows. I wanted to watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Old show also. Earlier on, I have search for it but cannot find it and now it’s on! Wait Aunty finished watching then I watch. TGIF! Was waiting for new movie on Disney+. Although I applied for leave and most likely will still put in sometime for work if the app has some problem after adding in all the things…  I guess I will put in extra modules instead of adding to current page. By doing that, I avoided causing issues for what I have already done. Only thing is to rewrite new ones. Payment wise, thanks to the UI, I cannot separate. As I add on, I have the urge to delete the whole code and rewrite. What lousy code I have…  Well, I don’t have the time and I don’t want to spend extra time on it anymore to perfect it. If I want to do that from now on, will be spending extra time on my Startup app. Saturday and Sunday ...

 Clearing leaves. I have applied for Monday and Friday every week. Should have applied one straight goes but then still got things to do so I cleared two days every week. Supposed to clear 1 day a week starting March but it was gone before I could apply any. I suppose this job nature is always like this… Chasing after deadlines. I cannot decide whether to leaving or staying. Pros and cons but I truly wanted to give Start-up a try. I haven’t touch my old code yet. The world is changing. The more I don’t look at it, the more shock I have. Now even kids can code… I think I am lagging behind them liao. The only thing I had more than them is my age and fats. 🤦🏻 I cannot go on like this. How shall I go on was the question? I do wish everything could have start off a bit differently. The balance in everything we do. If you lose it, the ship capsized. If you don’t, the strongest of wind will bring you to your destination at a faster rate. From impedance to become your allies. Life is jus...

 God is a programmer maybe. Otherwise why would women get period even though they are not going to give birth. He put a dispatcher that women get period every month just in case they are going to get pregnant. Wasted five days of my month. Hope the programmer put a patch that next time, can change to guys having period and give birth. Seahorse already made it there. Yesterday, just realised something suspicious. Since the thing is there a year ago. Meaning from that time onwards, they had nothing to program ah? Except for the changes and deployment while I still built from scratch? 🤔.

 The world is changing even while I am typing, it is changing still. The only thing to do is to change along with it. Even if you don’t, there will always be people who took the chance to change. Time wait for no man. Along the way, there will be people who tell you what you don’t need to do and also people who tell you what you need to do. Following the first is easy but the latter is harder. Remember there is no easy way out. Life long learning. Don’t forget to see the world outside so that you can keep track of time. You cannot blame time for not waiting for you. Even if you can but time will tell you, too bad, you can’t keep up. Everyone is working hard and they weren’t the reason you need to work hard. In fact, if everyone worked at the same pace and worked together, it wouldn’t be so hard after all for some. The world needs work but not inequality. It’s responsibility and integrity that will pay off. Transparency avoid miscommunication and errors that can be prevented. More t...

 I remembered my MacBook Pro password the first time I sat down on the chair and typed in using muscle memory. There was an update. Required a second time password entry to install… My chair got things so I cannot sit down. I think I tried a thousand times and it failed… Why???? Then I realised I forgot the first two…. The HP laptop was really low in batt too… wa… I forgotten the password as well. Too long never touch them and all my notes were in it. Argh. Luckily, it jump jump and auto go to desktop and everything is as it is. Phew…

 I realised turquoise has become pretty common. The color I picked simply just because I liked Green. I just bought a keycap to try out the different keycap profile before buying one. So far I have tried the tallest and shortest. Just nice I was doing some page out of a rush. Initially there is none and then it is not possible not to have one, I just simply decide the colour and done it within a day. Second day, I added pink hehehe.. anyway, they might want to design mah, who cares what colour I used now.  Secondly, I want an opposite colour because it is a secret page. So anyone accessing it will be very visible on tbw cameras. Nothing to do with design job. Mainly, if there isn’t a design or current choice, my favourite color will come in. Although I liked all colour. It was white earlier on. Colour change just as simple and can be done within seconds. :) Tell me a colour of your liking and you can have it your way. Purple, yellow, pink, black, red. Orange already taken. Wel...

 My MacBook Pro has gone down to 2%... How long have I not been using this? I think that is like a month or TWO! First time ever that I left it til 2%. Have I seen the end of the tunnel? hmm... I guess I have just entered another tunnel. I think the course I have attended focus greatly on Database Structure but they don't really teach a lot about operation though... Now finding the best online course to learn that.

 I have been testing myself with ART kits for the past 7-8 days. I am fine so I am wondering either my immunity was good, my vaccination is working well or I have Covid before without knowing. Every single day, no connection, slow connection, password expired, forgotten password… I thought being a Software Engineer I will be dealing with more technical stuff and better technologies but seems like and felt like, even startup might have better tools… Now, I am sharing a license and because of that, if other Engineers using a different style, then you have to follow along. You changed it and it will change back. Sigh… I think I am getting more and more frustrated and it makes the other job like a big pull factor. The only factor that the other job was not what I truly wanted was because it is a less common language. The rest like pay was more than my current one, mentorship provided and remote work on a single project. It is a startup and maybe I don’t have to worry about organisation...

 Sometimes I think they have been in it for too long. Maybe they don’t realise what they say but it could really make a big difference if they don’t. I am torn between two choices. The good parts just don’t exist together. Just sad. I like coding because it is like figuring things out. If it was just a plug in and play, it wouldn’t be so exciting to figure out. A barcode scanner configuration… haha. A manual that wasn’t so user friendly. It had 4 engineers trying to configure it. I shall name Zebra is the brand that caused such a havoc. I used to use barcode scanner but handheld ones. Truth is, most of the time, the operator pasted the instructions from the manual on the pc or table on how to change the configuration. Just half a page and could be done within minutes. The none handhelds, not so sure. Anyway, most people don’t read manuals. To my understanding, most don’t. I on the other part preferred a manual. If none exist, the product must be user friendly. At times, I would als...