2020

3rd movement. It doesn’t sound like there is 3 movement but a bazillion movement… Not that I know what it means or listening to more classical my type but I think it has been keeping me awake. Not sure why. I don’t listen to them all the time but one time I accidentally let autoplay active, before I realised, my list gone off the hook a bit. this music makes me concentrate better. I guess it was the person who played it. Good job. So far I have been replaying it everytime I work and it hasn’t die on me yet. Wondering if that could be played on guitar and probably not in my lifetime if I want to learn that on a guitar. I was asking for sign. Just as I wanted to send my resume, I received a linkedin message for some job opportunities. It was a language that I want to work with and doing R&D!!!!!  Then things kept on happening with the project… It is like driving me out to the open. So I didn’t submit a resume to this job and also to my current contract. This is a dilemma. You don...

 Sometime the world is much kinder to criminals. Kinder people know how to be kind to others inclusive of criminals yet, criminals only have cruelty towards anyone especially the defenceless. It wasn’t always the one who holds a knife, a gun or whatever weapon that determines criminal activity. It was the unseen criminals that bugs life that we are all aware of and lives with it. We know to show what’s not to our real intention or emotion. We are afraid of judgment. Whenever a crime happened, everyone’s focus was on the victim and what the victims should do or should have done. It was the victim’s fault. What the people beside the victims should have done. What about the one who inflicted cruelty to these people? The root cause of the tragedy. Immediately people think about how the victim should forgive the criminal as if that will change everything. The truth is nothing will be changed even after forgiveness. The only one who paid for the crime was always the victim. The cycle goe...

 最该死的那个人，昨天终于死了。也许我不想知道，还是知道了。有时候会想它什么时候死。也许它不值得我去思考。如果有地狱，请去。

 Recently, saw an ex-colleague passed by while I chope table but I cannot remember his name even though I wanted to call out. I thought I recognise the wrong person then I found his whatsapp and msg him. Well, not all the time I recognised the wrong person! I haven’t seen him like 4 years which I don’t know if that is 4 years because I changed phone.  After going through some apps that I did while I was doing bootcamp, didn’t really bring up memory cause I kind of forget those times. Seeing the app back, makes me feel like wanting to work with them again. I kind of thinking the current apps building culture wasn’t really what I anticipated. I do hope to work on those apps again. Wanting to make it better. hm… Do you go for interest or go for money? I cannot weigh both. I was thinking to ask God about it. Hm… God, give me a sign. The database is haunting me… I changed then rush and then change then rush… Sometimes I felt like rushing inefficiently or no sense of what I am rushi...

 Cannot escape documentation. Anyway, I already anticipated that weeks ago that they will ask anytime soon but didn’t really make it because I actually didn’t want to do it. Haha. Well, now gotta spend a day or two in it. yoohoo… too good to be true.

 Everytime I dealt with this project, it feels headless most of the time. I spent sometimes trying to join countless of tables with a senseless amount of time but then realised later on, I needed another thing in it, break it again and join again… Seems like a lot of work done but then I am still on the same point at which what join was the most convenient… The picture and the imagination sometimes not taking place correctly. All the more, the worst part is I still not sure if I should continue with this job. Particularly, the direction was really still lost. I have a feeling that everyone felt that way too.

  I was this close. To cut away. Today it seemed fine and I can no longer find the cuts but the mark where I cut it still remains. I could have severed the vein that was right underneath. Close call. Remember an event where I accidentally pressed the button of a water boiler while my hand was right beneath the water output. Before I could stop that, the water rushed out. My heart skipped as I would have a doomed hand soon. Instead of scalding hot water coming out, warm water splashed on my hand as I retracted from it. Phew. Nobody used the hot water for quite sometimes so the water that was stuck at the output was no longer hot I guess.  My boss just messaged me, he approved my leave on the system. I realised he hasn’t last weekend. Anyway, I was too late to do anything. I didn’t check or bring back my laptop for the notification… sigh… Tomorrow got to go back already… SIGH… Someone messaged me about an opportunity again… I duno if I should response. There are lots of opportun...