There were worried you are doing well so always find things to make troubles but all these years who has been the one taking and using the resources? Rent free, Utilities free, got workers to ask to do things for them. Wait, why you joined our family, all your problems become ours. Everytime got problem, we must understand you but I am sorry, most of the time when I was your age, I have to solve them myself. I also remember every year, both make new problems for us. Why when I was home, never complain I washed your whole family dish. Oh, is it because that time I didn’t make myself sick? Then pretend that I cannot work anymore like you did. So many acts. Why the money my Dad earned and what we all done need to let you spend. Yet, what you have earned, none go to us. Our parents’ money. Asked us to save, to work but to let you reap them? Please work harder like both of them lah until 65 years old like my mum then I didn’t want to hear your complains. At that time, someone complained her medical reports all fine but actually she has high cholesterol back in 2015. Sorry, I wasn’t there. I have to work so when my Dad asked for money because people at home not enough, I have to sent. Since I first started working. Even when I don’t give, I have to work.
Somebody painted their benefit as sacrifice. Who stayed above and look down on everyone? Who used the lower floor for Tuition? Who took from the shop to make tables and cabinets. My Dad paid 5k per month. Someone only pay her children’s school fee and meal. Not all the time because mostly it was from us until 2010/2011, I moved to Singapore. What did she do for us before that? After all the work done, none of us deserve better? Everyone should think of your kids which we gladly do. You only think for yourself.
Let’s see. I am like the child all works dumped on me. I remembered the eldest got his brand new car when I was in Primary School. He is 12 years older. I was 11 at Primary 6. That means he is 22-23 years old. The car is for his own use. Eventually not in use because he got into a serious accident. All at that time he needed to do was playing with cars. Oya. I also saw his iPhone. I dunno which model but that time it just released. Like the first few iPhone models. Remember pretty well his kids were playing with it while me don’t even have Nokia. He also has an iPad. Wah. That time our mother asked us to save money. Don’t spend. I used old clothings, old shoes and old school bag after my older sister done using them. I blamed my mum why I cannot buy new ones. At that time I never blamed how come the eldest can buy new car and my shoes were like once in a year. When he bought a new car, I guess my older brother was in Australia studying for Uni. Those times were the hardest. I didn’t see him overtime. Most of the time fix his car or upstairs download movie or sit in office or mia. Like this meaning he brought us up or feeding off his parents? My mum delivered furniture while pregnant. I never saw him deliver cause that time we had workers doing them. Check stocks also I have to check before going out. Dad has to ask me to look after the cashier in the afternoon. Imagine a kid, after school, not taking nap but had to be at the office working? My dad didn’t even know about my homework which I never did quite often. Probably nobody complained to him. The time flies if they were works to complete like bulk order for sliding windows and doors. Frames for civil certificate. Table glasses. There were times we done the work til midnight to finish taping all the aluminium. The metal strip also need drilling and cutting to shape before fixing to the window frame. Primary school I already started using drills, scissors and cutters. Nobody would even care if I got cut. I even went to Soon Lee while still bleeding to get some plasters. Sometimes the factory ran out of them. We fixed the frames. They were like hundreds of them. No sight of big brother when that were done. I dreaded going when nothing to do though because sitting and waiting for customers were the hardest to get by. Few times I fell asleep on the arm chair. It was hard to sleep on. Prop my head on the table, my hands went numb. Sit on my butt and sleep, my legs hurt because they couldn’t touch the ground. Pretty short that time. My Dad last minute call me there also. Afternoon, factory started at 1:30 pm. Eventually the time changed based on lunch. Night time I went back to help my mum with dishes. Sometimes if I didn’t go keriam, I have to go downstairs. Initially my mum only asked us to take afternoon nap before Primary 4, afterwards only then I skipped afternoon nap and help her at the shop. Housework like hanging the clothes out after she done washing. Wash the dishes and bottles. At first she didn’t ask me but I think it was fun and suddenly became my job. Primary 5 sometimes I have Tuition in the evening but not often. Only for like a month or two then the teacher has to go further studies. Then I stopped Tuition but we have extra classes. Primary 6 then I back to Tuition again. Secondary school I seldom have Tuition. Form 1-3, no extra classes too so those time were the best. I never free. Sometimes I get to watch few shows. Form 1 I was 12 years old. I forgotten about this but I remember Form 2, I started cooking vegetables, frying fish that my Dad bought from the fish market. Few times I went with him. I hated fish from then on. Before that I only helped to cook rice. My eldest sister stopped living with us. She is 14 years older than me. My mum said she married at 23 years old. So that time I am only 9. Meaning I started helping slightly after that age. She still works in the shop that time until I am 12 or 13, she left the job. So, every afternoon, I have to help my mum with the shop while she cooked for the family. Usually my eldest sister helped her. When she left, my maternal grandma visited us and stayed with us for a short while. My mum asked her to teach me to stir fry vegetables. My older sister went to Form 6 at Bandar so she wasn’t home. She managed to escape. When I was in Form 1, she was in Form 5. She is 5 years older than me. She did help my Dad but only during holiday or when she came back on weekends. She threw clothes into washing machines to wash. Mainly hers and also ours for the week. Then asked me to hangout while she gone Keriam. 2 years like that and then 3-4 years at UBD. She stayed in the hostel so wasn’t always home. Anyway, I went to KL college while she was 2-3 years at Uni. I left home for the first time for 1.5 years. I was like 17? Then back to Uni at Miri. My eldest brother got married around 25. I was 13 then? That is Form 2. Wah. Everything revolves around her. First kid born I was like 14. Happy to look after the baby. Anyway, should have spend time studying and focusing on my life. Time flies and it has taught me, even though related, still, she was somebody else child. Her beings will be based on her parents. Back then she even got angry just because I forgot to cook the rice. So what remember how old I am. Your kids don’t even know how when they were my age. What I did previous night? I have to clean up the mess you make at our kitchen just because you were cooking. Your plates also never washed after done. Same after getting 3 kids. Everybody should work like hell because we deserved to but not you. Probably in front of my parents different. I also quickly prepare whenever I reached home first. Oh, I remember the maid thing. My mum 7 kids no maid. I remember my mum’s hand smell of bleach at primary school. Before me, she was washing. Anyway, she was also the only one who washed the toilets, kitchen and bathroom. I then took over for the kitchen. Sometimes helped a bit on the toilet and bathroom cause long time never wash. Back then we have a big tub for storing water which we also directly bath from. Sometimes no water so we often have it. No heater. One time there is heater but after it broke, nobody fixed it. Mum was the one who changed light bulbs and gas tank and afterwards my older sister. Pipe leaking also Mum doing. Repair TV too but didn’t last long. I think watching her as I grow, this part was the best lesson that I have taken. Women can also do all these. Back then, we were rushing table glass. All cutting and grinding done by hand. No machines. New year were the worst. Mum woke up around midnight. I was like 8 years old. I followed her to the shop downstairs. It was so dark and scary. I couldn’t sleep even though there was a canvas stretched chair for sleeping. Back then, it used to be famous. Mum asked me to sleep on it while she worked. I think I followed her the most when nobody home yet sensible enough to make sense of what she was doing. Few times she hurt herself, including falling down from chair or cut herself. She fixed it on her own and never gone to doctor. Yet, she always brought us for injection and medical check up. Because of her, no canned food. No instant noodles. No sugary stuff. Mainly because me and my sis have asthma. No animals. You might get slapped if she found out. Anyway, the rules were more relaxed when I get older or when I can start to cook on my own. I tend to do the same dishes over and over again. I would buy the same one again and again. Cause I only knew that. Eventually frying fish fillet. Before that mum asked me to fry fish.
Middle school I never had breakfast. Worst no lunch when I have extra classes but only started from Form 4/5. Only occasionally my mum has the time to do for us. Before that, Dad would bring us to Mei Fang for breakfast but secondary school was harder because everyone get up late and also it was further from our house. The inconvenience of wearing a Tudong and Baju Kurung also makes it harder to eat breakfast. Wearing them already a big hassle for me. I only have one so I would wash it by hand and dried it in the aircon room. I never liked going to school because of that but I managed to make it through til Form 5. Thanks to a Passing D for Malay, I cannot go Form 6 without it or without having to take another subject. Anyway, I ended up having to pass my Malay before I can graduate from Malaysia University. I planned twinning but lots of things held up that even finishing Malaysia University was also a problem.
I also remember our house got karaoke with big speakers. My eldest sister would join competition. Also few times, they are holding birthday parties at Keriam. I was probably like in Primary Schools? You know I don’t think they ever held one for me. TV, video games and everything else, mine always the last. I saw my eldest brother guitar but I wasn’t even allowed to touch it. The only chance at playing games was because my older brother let us play.
I seldom went to Tuition for Primary 5. My Primary 4 tuition teacher stopped teaching. It was called tuition in hell. Not going back until I finished memorising all the questions and answers. Yes. The questions also need to memorise. Then one wrong get one cane. I remember the first day, I really cannot get use to it and it was like 1 am. I am still memorising with another classmates. She has learning issues and like few years older than me. I was relieved that she was with me otherwise I would be alone. The outside was pretty dark and the door not closed. My teacher gone back to her room until we were ready to attempt the test. My 9 years old self really cannot do anything. I just got caned because I cannot even remember anything so I dared not make another attempt. Eventually, my mum came to pick me up. I think I also skipped dinner cause after school ends at 12:30 pm, I have to be there by 1:30 pm. So rushing that I didn
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