Skip to main content

什么什么什么

都不知道自己做了什么。这几天很烦。烦死了。Just had a few deployment… feels like the end of the world. I felt like shit. Felt like what I am doing is shit and wasting the whole year to this stupid shit. Why can’t this be like a game, all I have to do is never to choose this job in the first place. Then I never had to deal with this login shit. Surprisingly, to find that in the code there are certain conditions seemed to be a requirement in the past but seems like current user doesn’t have any clue about it. While editing the code, I was thinking if I should remove or not. I did remove but put back just in case people who knows find them disappearing. Maybe they will cheers. All I did was to add in between the lines. Sometimes, if I don’t remove, people asked me why it worked that way. Hasn’t it been working that way for the past 15 years? I only doing the code for 2 months… If I knew, I think I can go for high paying job like something that is tripled my salary now. It put a big dark doubt about what I had in the code. Hm… Sometimes, just wondering halfway down the code, I lost what I am doing. The enthusiasm is like dropping every few seconds… Only to laugh when I made a really stupid mistakes. Like if the person already checkin. I wrote a message like: You have already checkin. Please go to the boarding gate. If you have any question, please go to the boarding gate.

Supposed to be Please approach our staff. 


I was thinking at that moment, since when I wrote that message. What the hell happened that day. Was I paying attention to what I wrote? or I have a split personality that write that thing there. Or I just doing everything out of muscle memory. Or I went somewhere else and come back to continue what I was typing….? But I had a good laugh at my own stupid mistake. I am not sure but everytime, I saw that message or think about that message, I cannot control but to laugh. Imagine the confusion the customer had because of that message… xp

I am tired. I want non-working sat and sun. I want non-working nights. I want better laptops. I want best is not to work at all and code whatever I liked. Dream On. Idiotic life. But today at least I read something nice about some news where the prince william said that we should focus on repairing earth than finding another planet to live in or space tourism. At least he had something decent in mind. If you can make another place so difficult to live in, why not repair this earth which consisted of so much more for us to live in. People spending billions just to fly to the moon… That billions can feed and help how many homeless people or kids without parents or those who struggle to even survive in this society and we just throw the money for someone to go to space and come back.. Now making it into a tourism… only for the richest probably. 


The code took 5-6mins to build after I changed something… what a sad life I had. I only remember compiling this long like 11 years ago. Well this is slightly better. Not an hour thing… we should be grateful…. but I couldn’t keep myself not to argh….


It is friday night. Used to be a fun night. I am not sure since when it wasn’t anymore. I have to return the library books that I have borrowed. Each I only have time to flip a few page. The storytel, although I have signed up for a year plus one month free, I only listened to it twice… like altogether only 2 hrs… 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No title

有些事就只能是遗憾。这是一堂课。最难的一堂课。我想我唯一办到的就是当了工程师。剩下的就只能是遗憾。如果少了这一点我想那我就完全是个遗憾。我想走到这一步,并不是我自己一个人能走的。它不是天上掉下来的。是我在井里时看到别人丢给我的一条绳子。我就抓住了它。好久好久。有的时候好想放开却又不放。松了又紧握着。一层一层的用力爬。遇到各种各样的问题,我一直找答案。以前大人都说难题放一边,要先做简单的题目。这样可以拿一些分数。可是我不知道为什么我说不听。我喜欢从第一题做到最后。当我有一题不会做的时候我会很难受。放不开的一直在那题绕着死都不放。如果在考试结束了我还做不到,这个关我过不了。会一直留在心里。非常难受。很难受。 如果我可以在结束前想到答案,就算我好多题都没有答,那一天我还是会很开心的。应为我解决了一个难题。成就感比及格更重要。当然我妈的藤编是躲不过的。我想我是自讨苦吃。长大了我就会在乎分数。很不愿意的都先答我会的。。。虽然是这么做了,可是我很痛苦。。。有时候会习惯的一直先解决觉得比较难的问题。然后一堆很快可以解决的却放一边。。。瓶颈在哪里我就会在哪里。拿着罐头开,死命的敲。就算所有的小事都解决了,这个瓶颈还是过不了。尽然过不了,那些小事就白做了。有的时候那里来的选择。人走的每一段路都会有难题。你跳过了。问题会追着你跑。幸运的可以搭顺风车逃离。不幸运的会被问题追上。勇敢的就去面对问题。我只觉得小时候的勇敢,不怕考试不及格就为了那一题已经没有了。只能靠着只想普普通通的过一关算一关。能躲一关也是一关。 小时候的梦想其实只是长大以后的笑话。只是一点都不好笑。想去的演唱会,想做的事。。。会跟着时间消失。。。就是完成不了的。不是努力就可以的。。。感受也会慢慢的麻木。梦想如果可以真实一点失望就不会那么大。虽然有一些动力但是是不对的动力。有些事也改变不了了。别人以为的小事。如果你经历过,在和我说是小事。我不会报复性的说这只是小事。应为我知道不是。如果我不是以前的我,我不会这么做。应为以前的我也觉得是小事。

War and Job

 现在哪里都要打仗了。是不是应该更要花时间找更稳定的工作。其实我的工作才是最没有保障的。应为我还不算这个公司的员工。然后还发现别的事。有问题到最后,我会先被赶走吧。那我现在更应该要找工作吧。不然等到仗都开始打了,我才找就太迟了。。。 Don’t deal with people with hidden agenda. Motto of life.

Missed

  My laptop battery seems to be bulging. I realized I missed the warranty expiry date by few days. I should have checked last month when I spotted it! 我很累。在梦里跑了半天。在找那间教室。写题的时候来不及写最后一句。打开折好的地图,怎么也折不回原本的那样。面试到一半就变成在学课题。有个像黑板那么大的电脑。而且不需要键盘。然后当我终于看到自己要找的教室,我就醒了。很不甘心。我找了那么久。我的背包和钱包还在那里。我赶快回去睡。看看能不能回到梦里继续走到教室。然后就忘了后来的梦。好像是和家人逛街的时候走散了。我找不到手机。。。 然后我又在找人。。。好累。 错过的那么一点。总是那么一点。