Skip to main content

Reflection

 I need career advice. Should I look for a new job or should I not? The series of unplanned events has reached up to a point that I think is enough to drown me. Although I am ok but it is not ok. I felt like I am not really growing in my skill sets but just trying real hard to connect something to a network. Well, everything comes with a manual but I have none. Some codes were given but not instructions. 

Would you say it is a skill learnt. I am not so sure. I saw some job ad posted by Wikimedia. Looks like kind of the job I would do but then the office is in the US, remote in Sg and it is based on a charity to operate. Will it be a long term plan for me? So far, I have not done anything like that. It’s not for me to decide also. 🌭 I just had this for dinner, after the western food downstairs closed on me.


I like my job but the constant changes, lack of information and lack of test or even real devices make me felt very frustrated sometimes. Probably things that only need one day could takes up to a week. My own test environment set up, then test when I can when I have the environment. Revert back when I am back to my own again. I felt like I am wasting too much time on these useless switching that done more harm than good. If I have more time, it should be spent on reviewing the codes logic or at least the quality. It is pointless too because anytime, the whole structure requires changes due to some unforeseen circumstances. Sorry to the software engineer that I used to scold for the bugs in the app and you simply don’t care about it. I can see why now. For me, it is crushing me because I hate the bugs. The fact that I have to leave it so I can do more stuff makes me restless. I can’t get over this somehow. I felt like keep improving it but then that wouldn’t let the job done. Worst still, after you have perfected it, the plan changed… The only thing that drives me away from feeling bad about the bugs is probably anger. Hope I get angry enough to ignores that. Then I could get the job done fast. Probably a day or two without sleeps if I am really angry. It would take one or two weeks if I am not. It was the momentum that allows you to sprint forward at a faster speed. Once you stop, you have to gain back. Bad thing about that. I probably won’t be functional for a week after that. 


Although I still think life is just nothing while everything is a disguise of this nothingness. I shouldn’t waste it away when I am alive. I don’t even think being alive is so worth it. Since I am still, I better be doing something good or else I would be wondering why the hell am I still alive… If you see through life, it is all a lie. When all is beautiful if you never heard of ugly truth. 


Venting of frustration ended.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bank

 A bank asked me to apply for their job. I was a bit skeptical whether it was scam. After a few conversations, it seemed legit. They needed my updated resume. I didn’t have. Go back to my old canva, then dragged out the old one. I realised I have a Word document ones after I sent the pdf ones. I should have just used the Word document because it was the latest. Anyway, I don’t have finance background so I might not get it. Based on their requirements, I think there are lots of things I have not yet explored. However, if I can finish my task earlier, maybe I can go for a test or two to see what are the skills that I lacked of. I felt a bit off because I just kept on doing uwp… I also needed to back up against my current job because I felt insecure about it, based on the recent months I was there. I am not sure if they want me there just to solve few issues then once solved then don’t need me anymore. Because every moment I was there, I felt a bit like it. They are also spending quit...
Post a Comment
Read more

Peculiar

 Not sure how I should feel. Good or bad. Mum used to be very good with tech. Well, yesterday, have spent two hours over the phone just to help her log in to my account. In the end, she only managed to download and update her Netflix app on her iPad. iPad actually a bit different from Android so she has lots of difficulty linking App Store is equivalent to Google Play… When I said search, she literally search by her eyes… I cannot help but laugh at myself. Programmer and code did the same. I am not around so I can only do these for her. Sigh… Should have gave her a tutorial during CNY…  My screen is back… The touch screen I bought previously so that it is easier for me to do work. The pc that I bought previously is a good investment in the end. Thank God or the manufacturer that both working fine so far.
Post a Comment
Read more

Nutshell

 Sometimes kind of envy people who get paid for doing jobs that weren’t done. Thou shalt not envy. Came these words right after I thought so. God is reminding me what I shall do and what not. Do we always follow? Life is full of surprises and things that never happened by what you wished. Learning is always my motto. Doing what I cannot do is my goal. Else, I am actually not sure what shall I do in life. Looking for that particular company which has the same vision as me and the environment that I wished I have? Looking for that particular job that I can do forever and always my safety net? Looking for people who are like minded and work with them. Not easy. Anyway, yesterday was a deja vu. I had a similar dream and sounds like yesterday. On Wednesday, I kind of remember and then well, it did happened. I just have dreams and then it happened. This is not the first time. The world and our brain are full of mystery and wonder. How do deja vu happened. Like you are arranging your mind...
Post a Comment
Read more