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I was out for a movie called The Endgame (人潮汹涌). I didn't really get the meaning of the title though. Meaning a lot of people. Probably will google later on. It was a nice show overall. It wasn't entirely too technical and superficial. The storyline flows. Some people are laughing and I did too at certain part. The humours were on point. Some parts weren't predictable. Not too naggy. More real life and yet it wasn't real. It doesn't look like a plan or plot though. I didn't fall asleep too.

I guess it's been too long since I last watch a movie. Sometimes I missed out some part when I am trying to read the subtitles. I tried reading the chinese subtitle to improve my reading. I used to watch hk shows doubling the speed to get to the story end and I was able to read the chinese subtitle at that speed. I think the lack of reading can cause the reading process to slow down over the years. Even now it is playing at the right speed, I can't finish reading it. Not only that, listening also play a part. I don't get them even when it is in chinese. Worst still when they used dialect. I lost all. I quickly jump to the chinese sub and found out I better look at the eng sub but the sub was gone... I must practice my chinese...

I think I need to watch more movies. The last chinese movie I get to watch was More than blue (watch in Taiwan) two years ago somewhere around this time. Then the one before that was 美人鱼。Our niece said she wanted to go watch her boyfriend, Kris Wu. It was a chinese new year where everyone was back home. We all including our parents, her parents and siblings, us the aunts and uncles (7), and her cousins, decided to hit the cinema to see her boyfriend. It was rare as we didn't usually go to the cinema because in the half an hour vicinity by car, there were no cinema. Only in recent years, more cinemas popped up in Brunei. Well, her bf only appeared for a minute I guess..... It became the joke of the year and the subsequent years.

She is now 20 years old. Studying in the UK. Seeing how she missed home, haha, I was truly heartless when I wasn't home. I did miss my nieces and nephews. They are cute and funny even when they are older now. She cooked for her grandparents while at home. She would study by herself. Normally parents would pressure their children to study well but for her we have to tell her not to stress too much on her studies. She took care of herself and can even cook things that I don't even know how to. At a young age, she learnt to think for others that we always thought she wasn't her age and called her our grandma instead. She is stressed while going out with me maybe because I am not that well behaved :D. Now she can't celebrate at home, she put up chinese new year's decoration at her lodging house for her and her housemates to celebrate cny in uk. The deco was so cute. Due to C-19, they can't go back home. I guess it wasn't easy because she has so many people that she missed being with. Hope the situation gets better in the UK and may people be more considerate, open minded and see the situation to know what they have to do to make it better. For me, I am ok. When I am home, I would just wake up to watch tv, play with them for a while and went back to sleep or on the phone. I am not so into cny or celebration anyway.

My nephew (19) on the other hand, also in the UK, doesn't communicate much. More like me... It's his first year there. Haha. He is just like he was when he was 3. More independent I guess. He didn't want to go home. He applied to Uni and went to uk all by himself. Hope he knows how to take care of himself. He can recognise the way to his father's factory at the age of 2-3. He wants to do everything by himself. Stubborn too. He went there all on his own booking tickets and finding a place to while my sis wasn't aware that he went missing at home. He knew how to purchase stuff at that age too while still wearing diapers. I didn't even know the way to their house or factory although I learnt how to be a cashier at a young age. No sense of direction sometimes. I lost my way while taking my driver's license test. I gotta go for a second time. Finally I got it. Well, more than that. Almost got myself killed few times after that. People can live by pure luck i guess. Of course, nobody got hurt.

I did apply to college and uni by myself. One thing we have in common, we both wants to be a 工人. haha. Never want to walk the footsteps of our father because we have seen how they have been. My other nephew wants to be a boss though 🤣. That's what he said when he was 3 or 4. Different people see things differently I guess.



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有些事就只能是遗憾。这是一堂课。最难的一堂课。我想我唯一办到的就是当了工程师。剩下的就只能是遗憾。如果少了这一点我想那我就完全是个遗憾。我想走到这一步,并不是我自己一个人能走的。它不是天上掉下来的。是我在井里时看到别人丢给我的一条绳子。我就抓住了它。好久好久。有的时候好想放开却又不放。松了又紧握着。一层一层的用力爬。遇到各种各样的问题,我一直找答案。以前大人都说难题放一边,要先做简单的题目。这样可以拿一些分数。可是我不知道为什么我说不听。我喜欢从第一题做到最后。当我有一题不会做的时候我会很难受。放不开的一直在那题绕着死都不放。如果在考试结束了我还做不到,这个关我过不了。会一直留在心里。非常难受。很难受。 如果我可以在结束前想到答案,就算我好多题都没有答,那一天我还是会很开心的。应为我解决了一个难题。成就感比及格更重要。当然我妈的藤编是躲不过的。我想我是自讨苦吃。长大了我就会在乎分数。很不愿意的都先答我会的。。。虽然是这么做了,可是我很痛苦。。。有时候会习惯的一直先解决觉得比较难的问题。然后一堆很快可以解决的却放一边。。。瓶颈在哪里我就会在哪里。拿着罐头开,死命的敲。就算所有的小事都解决了,这个瓶颈还是过不了。尽然过不了,那些小事就白做了。有的时候那里来的选择。人走的每一段路都会有难题。你跳过了。问题会追着你跑。幸运的可以搭顺风车逃离。不幸运的会被问题追上。勇敢的就去面对问题。我只觉得小时候的勇敢,不怕考试不及格就为了那一题已经没有了。只能靠着只想普普通通的过一关算一关。能躲一关也是一关。 小时候的梦想其实只是长大以后的笑话。只是一点都不好笑。想去的演唱会,想做的事。。。会跟着时间消失。。。就是完成不了的。不是努力就可以的。。。感受也会慢慢的麻木。梦想如果可以真实一点失望就不会那么大。虽然有一些动力但是是不对的动力。有些事也改变不了了。别人以为的小事。如果你经历过,在和我说是小事。我不会报复性的说这只是小事。应为我知道不是。如果我不是以前的我,我不会这么做。应为以前的我也觉得是小事。

Long distance 单恋

什么时后会结束。看我有多花心或是多懒惰。守护也不知道守的有没有用。如果没有,那守护来做什么。坐在风景还不错的地方等人上班。吃早餐。有两只鸟看着我吃。我跺脚一只不敢靠近。另外一只还走过来越走越近的看着我吃完。我跺脚的时候,眼睛还睁大的看着我。鸟,你很有性格。不知道你能活多久。会不会活到最后还是最早离开。如果你是人,会被人打死的。如果你遇到的不是我,你也会很惨的。幸好我没有你那么有性格。本来要给你拍一张照的。可是我一只手忙着吃早餐,一只手拿手机不方便,然后你太近了,角度换了拍了也不好看,没有拍。要不然你就出名了。