一天又过了。

前天，十点回家。。。 11.30pm ++ 到家。While i was in the train, the PA systems keep on talking and talking as if somebody muffled the person who is announcing. A little bit longer for each stops. I could only pick up bus or something something. I presumed everything was ok and only the PA system was down.

The train is still moving too. Then just mow my sis told me somebody went into the mrt track and hit by the train. 31 years old. Everything is still under investigation...

Life is just not worth it. Probably we will really be gone and just stop existing in this world. There is no heaven or hell. There is no paradise and just thin air. We will never truly meet again. Just like any other living things. Once gone, truly gone. I hope it is that way though. Because it means everything ended. No enjoying and no suffering. That's better when we were thinking what will be our judgment at the end of life.

It is Chap Goh Meh today. I just want to do my things. That's all for this life. This is the last thing that I wanted to do. I love peace.... peaceful..... and I don't need serenade or whatever. Life is just not worth it. If only I can make u understand. If only you can understand but you wouldn't. I have loved you for so long. This love, you tore it piece by piece. It is still there by blood. It is no longer love. It became a burden that haunts me and I can never be freed from it.

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Bank

A bank asked me to apply for their job. I was a bit skeptical whether it was scam. After a few conversations, it seemed legit. They needed my updated resume. I didn’t have. Go back to my old canva, then dragged out the old one. I realised I have a Word document ones after I sent the pdf ones. I should have just used the Word document because it was the latest. Anyway, I don’t have finance background so I might not get it. Based on their requirements, I think there are lots of things I have not yet explored. However, if I can finish my task earlier, maybe I can go for a test or two to see what are the skills that I lacked of. I felt a bit off because I just kept on doing uwp… I also needed to back up against my current job because I felt insecure about it, based on the recent months I was there. I am not sure if they want me there just to solve few issues then once solved then don’t need me anymore. Because every moment I was there, I felt a bit like it. They are also spending quit...

Peculiar

Not sure how I should feel. Good or bad. Mum used to be very good with tech. Well, yesterday, have spent two hours over the phone just to help her log in to my account. In the end, she only managed to download and update her Netflix app on her iPad. iPad actually a bit different from Android so she has lots of difficulty linking App Store is equivalent to Google Play… When I said search, she literally search by her eyes… I cannot help but laugh at myself. Programmer and code did the same. I am not around so I can only do these for her. Sigh… Should have gave her a tutorial during CNY… My screen is back… The touch screen I bought previously so that it is easier for me to do work. The pc that I bought previously is a good investment in the end. Thank God or the manufacturer that both working fine so far.

Nutshell

Sometimes kind of envy people who get paid for doing jobs that weren’t done. Thou shalt not envy. Came these words right after I thought so. God is reminding me what I shall do and what not. Do we always follow? Life is full of surprises and things that never happened by what you wished. Learning is always my motto. Doing what I cannot do is my goal. Else, I am actually not sure what shall I do in life. Looking for that particular company which has the same vision as me and the environment that I wished I have? Looking for that particular job that I can do forever and always my safety net? Looking for people who are like minded and work with them. Not easy. Anyway, yesterday was a deja vu. I had a similar dream and sounds like yesterday. On Wednesday, I kind of remember and then well, it did happened. I just have dreams and then it happened. This is not the first time. The world and our brain are full of mystery and wonder. How do deja vu happened. Like you are arranging your mind...

2020

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