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“Dailies”

 Summing up all the daily things. The kids down at our block has two common things that they liked to do when approaching me. Some random kids would come up to me and asked me what the time was. I never looked at the time as a kid. If it gets dark, it is time to go home or when I felt tired, that is another indicator. My mum would be shouting from the third floor to call me back for afternoon nap.

The kids then would ask me if I can buy them drinks because they are thirsty. Quite a few times already. I went down to take away my chicken rice and sometimes I brought 10 dollars cash with me even though I don’t use them. Usually I paid with paylah. Ever since covid and most places where I would have been stopped accepting cash. I brought it just in case paylah or card payment doesn’t work. As with any system, there is always a time they would be down because it was connected to many other systems which if any one of it failed, the rest would fail. However, they have not failed me yet. I gave the 10 dollars to the kid since I don’t have small change. The 3rd time, I just say I will bring them to the convenient shop besides our block and buy for them because I don’t have small change. Every time giving them 10 dollars would be too much.

Another thing about paywave. Recently, there is a promo for using DBS passion card to make payment for transport. Instead of my ezlink, I used my phone. Guess what, just started using and I already received scam calls and messages. Previously, I have been reluctant to try because my cards got unauthorised transaction that I have to cancel my cards. Both happened after I registered and used it for transport. The 3rd card was fine so far until I started using it for transport. I wonder if someone was using the information from the transport system. Your information is stored in the database. Whether it be safe or not, only the person who can see it be suspicious and it could be anyone. Now, I am going to use my ezlink card…

Talking about favours. Do you think a person who would be early for work, don’t slack, don’t even rest sometimes, no smoke break, no toilet breaks every hours, ot when called with short notice, not mc every few days or week and do when asked would be the one getting special treatment? Sometimes doing work when nobody willing to ot when someone failed to show up while shop is shorthanded. Even sometimes when having full manpower and we were still shorthanded because at least one of them would be slacking off. Not seen when long queue or there were delivery orders. To me, not doing so is special treatment.

AI. My cousin who I don’t usually contact, contacted me via whatsapp. I never saved her number before since we never need to. It was Malaysia's number. Last last time, we used landlines. It has been 10 plus years. How do I know that is not a scam message. Now scammers can use your photo and they probably know you more than you know you. She sent me a letter to proofread. Then you would worry about doc virus. sigh… Tech or not, the scammers make everything prosperous to something that everyone would be having nightmares of. Bad people should just be dead and gone. Without them, the world is at peace and you don’t really have to worry about anything. If I can gain favours from my skills, I would have earned more. I wouldn’t even have to work at all. They are people who would do bad things and there are people who don’t. I wish I can be bad people and at least I won’t suffer so much for not willing to be one.

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有些事就只能是遗憾。这是一堂课。最难的一堂课。我想我唯一办到的就是当了工程师。剩下的就只能是遗憾。如果少了这一点我想那我就完全是个遗憾。我想走到这一步,并不是我自己一个人能走的。它不是天上掉下来的。是我在井里时看到别人丢给我的一条绳子。我就抓住了它。好久好久。有的时候好想放开却又不放。松了又紧握着。一层一层的用力爬。遇到各种各样的问题,我一直找答案。以前大人都说难题放一边,要先做简单的题目。这样可以拿一些分数。可是我不知道为什么我说不听。我喜欢从第一题做到最后。当我有一题不会做的时候我会很难受。放不开的一直在那题绕着死都不放。如果在考试结束了我还做不到,这个关我过不了。会一直留在心里。非常难受。很难受。 如果我可以在结束前想到答案,就算我好多题都没有答,那一天我还是会很开心的。应为我解决了一个难题。成就感比及格更重要。当然我妈的藤编是躲不过的。我想我是自讨苦吃。长大了我就会在乎分数。很不愿意的都先答我会的。。。虽然是这么做了,可是我很痛苦。。。有时候会习惯的一直先解决觉得比较难的问题。然后一堆很快可以解决的却放一边。。。瓶颈在哪里我就会在哪里。拿着罐头开,死命的敲。就算所有的小事都解决了,这个瓶颈还是过不了。尽然过不了,那些小事就白做了。有的时候那里来的选择。人走的每一段路都会有难题。你跳过了。问题会追着你跑。幸运的可以搭顺风车逃离。不幸运的会被问题追上。勇敢的就去面对问题。我只觉得小时候的勇敢,不怕考试不及格就为了那一题已经没有了。只能靠着只想普普通通的过一关算一关。能躲一关也是一关。 小时候的梦想其实只是长大以后的笑话。只是一点都不好笑。想去的演唱会,想做的事。。。会跟着时间消失。。。就是完成不了的。不是努力就可以的。。。感受也会慢慢的麻木。梦想如果可以真实一点失望就不会那么大。虽然有一些动力但是是不对的动力。有些事也改变不了了。别人以为的小事。如果你经历过,在和我说是小事。我不会报复性的说这只是小事。应为我知道不是。如果我不是以前的我,我不会这么做。应为以前的我也觉得是小事。