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Plan

I planned tonnes of things to do when I reached home after work. I got a game to play and programs to write. Celebrated my Aunty's birthday. Actually I celebrated her birthday more than I celebrated my mum's. We didn't know our parents birthday until like we were adults and by then we left home. We don't usually celebrate birthday esp mine since I am in the middle. Either the eldest celebrate or the youngest. Not that I really want it but after a while, it became just a day, I wanted for myself. It is probably a terrible day to be on earth. I think only on that day I can be selfish. Whatever. I made a coffee and eat my cough syrup which the doc gave. I think I will cough more when I drank it but eventually it felt better then I got worst again. I ended feeling sleepy and now planning for a nap. Game not played. Program not written. I am a day away from my 100 k. The 100k story. Once upon a time, I was sick and decided to get well and wanted to try out my own program. I figure it is a 100k price for writing one. Well, it will usually take a year or 2 to make one. However, I was sick, my sis was sick, my aunty and my uncle was sick. Each took up a few days and a few months. I was suppose to recuperate but ended up taking courses and going hospital or clinic most of the time. My mum and dad's stuff was also more than enough. My niece's going to Uni. Then people asked me for my time as if they were free and asked me what did I do without a job even though I have been working like a cow for my years. Getting Master's, doing part time and everything. I decided to drop all my cares. If I spent a day on my program, I am one day closer to 100k. If you asked my time for it, I am a day away from it and I didn't ask for payment. Why is it always me to pay with my time when later on somebody questioned what I did. It is as if I don't even deserve to rest. That trips everything actually and I did as I should. I sacrificed my time when it could have give me more chances to earn more money yet it is not being appreciated. Why should I? Maybe I should get a nap and forget about everything. Don't worry only temporary. If you cannot forget being treated badly so do I. I can go for length for people and I did the same for the worst.... Tired.... Why should I even exist? I have sacrificed enough for everyone and I think it should be a time I think for myself. Then, I booked a ticket back for my parents. I have been dreaming about them lately. Both in a bad shape. I just want to spent more time with them. The reason I don't talk to my youngest brother is because he didn't treat his parents well. If I did the same to them, I am no different from him. It was never about me for not talking to him.

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