:)

 

:)

I guess I have not been supporting the wrong fast food. Not that it was healthy or not. I guess it was just something that ur parents won’t let u do and every time you had the chance, you took it. Fast food was actually expensive unhealthy food in my mum’s dictionary. So does instant noodles and snack food. When I earned my own salary, the things that I craved for was all of the above. Psychologically bonded to them. Even though I knew it, I succumbed to it. 

To me all food is the same. They are cooked food but I think only cleanliness is different. When you cook your own food, you know where your food came from. Hope McD kept that in mind. I am getting fatter but I guess any food I eat I will also grew fat… Maybe… Probably a workout routine needed. I think I shall need a time where I don’t use a phone or the laptop.

I don’t celebrate birthday a lot. Thanks to those whom I have celebrated my birthday with. There was once in my first year during Uni time, while I was in the school canteen discussing about a project with teammates. It was evening time and as the sky began to turn dark, happy birthday songs sang by a group of people from another table diffused from across the hall. While I was still working on a project. What a sad life. I turned to the whole group of people and was wondering who was it but the crowd blocked everything. I turned back to my project. Well, that’s life. Later on, at the end of the project, almost the end of the semester, I realised one of my teammates was born on the same day as me. We were looking at our ic photos and found our birthdate the same. Life. I guess we were born totally the opposite. That day though, I never asked how he celebrated. I went back home and dropped dead. Actually, I don’t have the memory of there after. I guess I just sleep like it was any other day. I have a mixed feeling about it. I not so want to celebrate it but also want to have something by myself. At least on that day, I shall do one thing for myself just to tell myself, I am capable of getting myself something age. Last year was iPhone. I got a Google Pixel 2XL. I watched a movie. I bought a cake of my choice. I ate shabu shabu or a meal of my choice. No pictures but at least I knew I did it. Even a sleep or take a leave not to do anything was considered blissful. Maybe that’s too much but on my day, I hope I was selfish. 

I guess the most happy part was the birthday cake. I used to stand by the bread shop and looked at the cakes on display. There were times like almost everyday or whenever we bought bread. That era, cakes were luxury. I liked cake so whenever it was somebody else birthday, I am happy too cos I got cake to eat. A bit selfish but I don’t really know what. It was hard to find good cakes though. As I grew older, I realised that was selfish but I cannot change anything from the past. Mum dunno heard from where asthmatic cannot eat cake or eat chicken. At certain point of my life, I didn’t eat those. I didn’t really like chicken at all until I was in Secondary school where some TCM said, asthmatic can eat chicken… Mum had to beat me up to start eating chicken. Conflicting concept all the time. One other thing is I always like to do the opposite of what mum said. Or the other way round. It should be my mum like to ask me to do the opposite of what I like. 🤭

I think the only time we celebrated my birthday physically as a family was before I left Brunei to Sg for my first job. 12 years passed. We don’t really celebrate birthday I guess. The rest if there is, I think I don’t remember anything. Maybe there was once more with a blue on white colour cake but I don’t remember whether it was for my birthday or someone else.  that’s like I was 6 because I think my younger brother was there. He was still learning to climb or walk. Or maybe that’s his birthday. My memory fades. Probably we shouldn’t even need to have memories if in the end, it will all be gone. 

I wonder if I should share the 20 pieces nuggets or I eat it all myself, 🫠🤔