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Feast

We got a treat cos somebody strike 4d. We ordered McDonald breakfast and Pizza for Dinner. I also a bit concerned though, cos I felt like my throat felt different today. Could be the little bit of rain that I got for the past two days? or it could be the start of something or I am just going to have a normal flu? Not like the allergy sneeze that I would have though. Today is a bit different 🤔. Shall I be worried? 

Sometimes I think certain things were to our advantage. Like if there is no requirement, and it is up to us to decide or comes up with a solution, then it couldn’t be a mistake because there was no correct solution to begin with. Hm. Worst is that there is a solution that doesn’t work and you have to follow it right? 

I am worried about this sore throat feeling. Normally it would have gone away after I woke up. We still go to site even though there were close to 900 cases for the past two days. Well, sometimes good and sometimes bad. I don’t care liao, most is Covid-19 mah. The most just die only lo. Then I can say goodbye to my beloved Kiosk which I have finally met last month. The forever happening Controller… I can say Goodbye to a lot of things. Well, I definitely wish if there is an afterlife I can bring my laptop there cause I had the best ones so far. Not the one from the working one though. That one I would wish there is no afterlife.  Worst nightmare is the barcode scanning but I foresee this because before even started, all were talking about backup plans if scanners weren’t working. Expecting it to fail frequently but true enough. I thought if barcode scanner failed most likely barcode scanner spoils. Do you think a program can get spoil that it cannot scan barcode? well I never thought about that. So meaning it could have happened before. Should I be worried now.  The most just restart or reopen the app. The most just change the barcode scanner right? Worst thing is why do I always have to kena barcode scanner? 

I was up since 7:30am. Quickly ordered. Do a bit of work while waiting. Then eat McD. Aunty treat us mcd and pizza. She suggested both when I only talk about pizza yesterday :) Ate at 5:45 pm. After we sat down and eat, they said no vpn and no access to db… hm… Lucky thing was, My laptop didn’t die and I opened most of the table that I needed. Except for one which I hit an error and the pizza came. I picked it up and we all started eating. I forgot all about the db. Pizzaman spoilt the best part of the data that I need. I can look at the table fields though. Looking at the things that I needed to do… hm… Actually worst part is not the data or the ui. Worst part is actually all the hardwares that I had to connect though. I thought if a product which wasn’t ours should have gave us how to connect to them. Some I am not even sure what’s library needed and need to go test out one by one. Well, Never expected this though. I was wondering if normally it was done this way. Software engineer and hardware engineer… while most hardware had no information. Even most engineer who programmed them gets to have specs. 

Should I continue to write my code? or I should sleep.  Anyway, if only we could redesign certain structure. Ah… I forgot about the coffee. Was waiting for the water to boil. Looking at the crazy red thing. 

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有些事就只能是遗憾。这是一堂课。最难的一堂课。我想我唯一办到的就是当了工程师。剩下的就只能是遗憾。如果少了这一点我想那我就完全是个遗憾。我想走到这一步,并不是我自己一个人能走的。它不是天上掉下来的。是我在井里时看到别人丢给我的一条绳子。我就抓住了它。好久好久。有的时候好想放开却又不放。松了又紧握着。一层一层的用力爬。遇到各种各样的问题,我一直找答案。以前大人都说难题放一边,要先做简单的题目。这样可以拿一些分数。可是我不知道为什么我说不听。我喜欢从第一题做到最后。当我有一题不会做的时候我会很难受。放不开的一直在那题绕着死都不放。如果在考试结束了我还做不到,这个关我过不了。会一直留在心里。非常难受。很难受。 如果我可以在结束前想到答案,就算我好多题都没有答,那一天我还是会很开心的。应为我解决了一个难题。成就感比及格更重要。当然我妈的藤编是躲不过的。我想我是自讨苦吃。长大了我就会在乎分数。很不愿意的都先答我会的。。。虽然是这么做了,可是我很痛苦。。。有时候会习惯的一直先解决觉得比较难的问题。然后一堆很快可以解决的却放一边。。。瓶颈在哪里我就会在哪里。拿着罐头开,死命的敲。就算所有的小事都解决了,这个瓶颈还是过不了。尽然过不了,那些小事就白做了。有的时候那里来的选择。人走的每一段路都会有难题。你跳过了。问题会追着你跑。幸运的可以搭顺风车逃离。不幸运的会被问题追上。勇敢的就去面对问题。我只觉得小时候的勇敢,不怕考试不及格就为了那一题已经没有了。只能靠着只想普普通通的过一关算一关。能躲一关也是一关。 小时候的梦想其实只是长大以后的笑话。只是一点都不好笑。想去的演唱会,想做的事。。。会跟着时间消失。。。就是完成不了的。不是努力就可以的。。。感受也会慢慢的麻木。梦想如果可以真实一点失望就不会那么大。虽然有一些动力但是是不对的动力。有些事也改变不了了。别人以为的小事。如果你经历过,在和我说是小事。我不会报复性的说这只是小事。应为我知道不是。如果我不是以前的我,我不会这么做。应为以前的我也觉得是小事。

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