20 dollar voucher

 I got a call asking about something but would get me a 20 dollar voucher. I was thinking do I want the voucher or not? Why not? hm… But at least she didn’t sound like a machine talking to me and accent was ok.

What really made me wonder is because most survey question is yes or no. From the way I understand it, may mean a whole lot different answers. So how effective would the survey be. One particular question is about media things. Mostly about different countries. Then one particular one is about the frequency I watched TV, Movie, Listening to music, or whatever. If I really felt I had no time, most probably I don’t watch unless I passed by the living room and what Aunty’s was watching caught my attention. How do I calculate the frequency? If I don’t watch tv at all but I listen to Music most of the time but that wouldn’t mean I watch movie and tv all the time? So survey question sometimes really bugs me. It is like a loophole. Only recently I watched a few show but only once a week they uploaded new ep but the story ends now so nothing really much to watch… hm… then the next few months I would watch nothing…

Work life balance is just a talk only. What I am holding to, one day when it needs to fall apart, it will. Once again, it feels like the world just cheated on you. You don’t really belong sometimes and that makes the most difference. Then it would be a lost of what I have been looking for. Sometimes you can just envy those people of who they can choose to be what they want to be or even do. I am just a part of their life that can be ditched anytime when it comes. I think jealousy can make a person feels like an idiot at times. Then, I truly realised what the verse means. Thou shall not envy.

Although I used to envy but it used to mean nothing until all turned into rages then I realised what evil is behind. I have not been to church for a long time. Stray as I may be and what I have withdrawn from sometimes I felt at peace because sometimes it feels more of a burden. I finally felt, this world was never meant for everyone even in a church, you might as well never be there. There are people who don’t belong, those who faced injustice, wounded and strayed, but not willing to hurt anyone, and I guess they have gone to the place that I always thought they were. We are all inferior to certain things in life and our decision made may be to protect ourselves but in the end hurting others indirectly or intentionally. These were the situation that I didn’t want to be involved. Introvert and inferiority, just a line apart. Human nature. Sometimes, you can relate, sometimes, you felt helpless and sometimes, you decided to walk away. Other times, you get infuriated and that can make anyone heartless. If you wronged somebody else, I guess you would be feeling the guilt forever or you just don’t to protect your dignity while it is still there. Then it runs in a loop. Sometimes, you noticed the loop and make a stop and sometimes, you just run with the flow despite knowing the loop. Why can’t people see what I see? Why can’t they understand? Why can’t I do anything to it to make it stop? Do we just accept the fate in front of us made by somebody else’s great idea?

Do political people has in mind what people are looking for? or what the world is all about? or is it just a wishful thinking? Everyone just look at your face and the paper you should have. There are things lost in transmission to a better world. And what you thought as the perfect world has lost its original intention. Until you lose it all. It is not about taking sides. It is about the fact one should look at. What good is the city that has everything but there are no souls in it. What good is the city that doesn’t has anything but the souls are well fed? Is it really that we can only have one of it? Everything was man made. You came into the world with nothing but ur body and soul. The world has the thing to keep it alive or it doesn’t or it will just disappear with time.  What make us that we cannot have both. We made a world to be competence of each other but why? Isn’t it all about the pride and greed that somebody has to pay for that. Sometimes we were just fighting and fighting just because we had to but then suddenly the question is what was the priginal cause of the fight?

Let’s look at world war. If it was done by a single person, why would the whole country if each has their own mind has the same mind to destroy another country. I wonder how another can make such an impact on another country while the people in that land should have more than enough to fight back based on the resources compared to a foreign country that flew all the way there and managed to kill so many people but why. We all put it far and right that the remembrance doesn’t mean anything if we put the hate on something else to compensate the loss and to make yourself feel better but not what has caused it to happened was never brought to light. The problem solved wasn’t the original problem anymore. If education put us on the right track to a better world why do we use it to judge us and not how would our education helped each and everyone of us to make a better world to live in. A world that is rich and there are souls well fed. But to these days education is just a piece of certs for us to fight each other. If someone has done better, bring him down. If someone done worst, just kick them away. We are in a world, none were truly selfless but the truly selfless would always be gone first. Thinking being selfless needs nothing in return. They just fed themselves to those greedy people making all the sacrifices but what do they have in return. Some may even carry a crime that they did not commit while some may even sacrificed their life for their bravery to fight for the rights that you had today. Well, only to have it toasted after the people had them and forget about those who have been long dead. Their brevity of life was long forgotten. They may be people who looked ordinary or people who has been contributing endlessly without a name while those who did little to gain more has their number of views on social media when you realised everything not worthing a thing if you don’t gain any views from social medias. You don’t gain a like, it means whatever you do wasn’t right. You don’t do the right thing if, everybody pointed their fingers at you , for it to be wrong. People can even shut you down if you don’t follow the flow. Then people will come to know what they did was wrong only when they are at the end of the consequences bringing everyone down with it. If the fact is there or it could be made up. Why there are made up fact and why we can’t tell them apart? If we can’t tell, we are not sure. Then the doubt is true. If we can tell, then why fight? The fact speaks for itself. This cycle just keeps on continuing for a lifetime. I wonder will it continue forever. Or someday, people will realise them or they never will. Blinded by what they could get for the moment in time. True, if you want to live longer and better, what else? The world will somehow get back at you for the damage you have done. Unless after you get what you want, you don’t live on earth. You can spend billions going to the moon or wherever you want. What does it bring? what does it mean? Can you see who is beneath the sky or those who is under the ground? It doesn’t matter at all as long as there is money, wealth and authority involved. What can war bring us in return? What can being arrogant to each other bring in return? We want to feel superior towards others. We want much more. So what if you are more superior.