Acting

 2 am, heard someone knocking. I thought the upstairs playing again. Our house got gate so definitely wouldn’t have anyone who will knock on our door. Turned out to be the door from upstairs to downstairs. Then my father’s eldest son knocking on the door then shouting to me to bring Dad to Miri now to see doctor cause worry he got pneumonia. Brunei to Miri custom, not open at this hour. From someone who often travel between don’t know meh? Or purposely act concern. Dad has the flu a day before we went to Miri 5 days ago. He has been coughing occasionally for a long time. The son only now ask to bring him see doctor. Dad since Monday has been coughing. He has been working with him for these two days and he never thought of it? Suddenly around 2am he remembered. While we were in Miri, I brought Dad to see his specialist but since he was there, he never really cough so he never asked him. I bought him cough syrup. Still coughing today. He can still scold me sometimes so I think he is fine. I also told Dad if he never gets better we will see doctor. 

Today early morning, I told Dad to go Miri to visit doctor then tomorrow morning, Thursday come back to Brunei. This eldest son said he needs to go Miri on Thursday. So my Dad cannot go Miri today. So yesterday acting skills almost moved me. He then used what I say to say he already said he wanted to go. Used his eldest brother status to push you down when he never acted like one since young. Said I brought Dad to Sibu and he has been with me when he cough. Dad has been coughing all these years… Dad has hip joint pain since he has been living with him. Diabetes and high blood pressure too. So I need to do like him. Take all these and said the problems caused by him. Sibu trip was my Dad’s decision for qing ming for his cousin who when alive has been the one who gave my Dad money to do his studies. Dad said he walked all the way to Dad’s house which was deep in the forest, just to pass my Dad the money. His cousin was childless so his only request was to have my Dad to have his second son to pass over as his godson. At first, should be the first son but Dad worried he has only one son so, in the end second son. It was my older brother’s name carved on the grave as his son. This was the first time I went to Sibu. Normally, qing ming was done by my Dad and his friends. Mostly, son is the one who needed to do. I have never seen my grandpa who passed away before I was born. Sibu was my father’s hometown. Dad also has a dinner to attend. It was his secondary school reunion. Most of whom passed away. There were 150. That day I think less than 50. Dad’s original age was 2 years older. People who were very poor would register their kid later after born. To prevent them from going to school early. Those were born in 1948. Some probably in US and all over the world and did not come back. Got some who made it to Dato and Kapitan.

Dad was fine back then for a week. Only he in Brunei, then started to cough again. Maybe from the rain. Sibu always drizzling. Then last Thursday he has his flu. I bought cough medicine for him on Saturday cause his medicine finished. He said he felt better then when back in Brunei on Monday, his cough gotten worst. His syrup finished. I bought another two yesterday morning, Tuesday and to see if it helps. If it didn’t, I told him better to see doctor when we made the trip on Thursday. 

He said I used electricity and implying that the electricity bill was more expensive. Hello. I helped bring my parents around without any salary. When he and his wife helped, we each got give pocket money,  They both never give money leh. They asked all other kids not to give money. When need to travel still travel. Thursday and Friday still make trip to Miri which were both working days. Salary also never deducted. I used a fan. He used air-condition. His wife gave tuition two or three shift in air-condition room also never give anything. Use robot vacuum too leh but never bought one for parents. His door locks used electricity leh. I slept in the living room on a sofa bed that I bought. Fan also when I was back I bought one. Solar light also I bought one. Everything in the house like all lacking or broken. The one who used the electricity told me I used the most. They provided three meals for my parents before this but when not around, never do. When wash plates, they put aside my parent’s plates and not washed them. They took the whole upper floor. Each room with air conditioning. Bottom floor only my Dad used air conditioning. They don’t give rental, electric bill or water bill. My dad provided the space with air conditioning for his wife to give tuition. All these while, they also cooked for their kids only in addition, they cooked for my parents. Other than that, nothing. Of course, the son helped fixing things in the house but still house like leaking here and there. Bathroom all sink has a leaking drain and everything like run down. The good water tap faucet also changed to like lousy normal water tap faucet. Some sink don’t even has a faucet. 

Anyway, Dad still cough and sometimes he has no strength to get into the car. This morning, he can get into the car slightly easier. Less wheezing. Asthmatic people sometimes wheeze. If continues, best to see doctor. I said he is not worst but that doesn’t mean we should wait til he is worst. Anyway, 知人知面不知心。谁好谁坏不是自己说的。谁付的多，心里明白。那一天要看，我们付出的多少，拿了多少， 不止天知地知。所有人除了否认自己拿多少的人，都知道。你不懂良心， 我也不需要懂。 常拿我当话柄。”我都没说”。我爸的车我不用，难道你来载？ 我没钱买车。可是为什么？ 是谁一直在用我的钱。爸生病，你给过吗。扣你薪水吗？你老婆愿意给吗？可是要家产就应该。一天有时连100块都没有赚到还说养过我。现在花的是爸妈以前赚的。卖的也是以前的地。以前的家。每一个人都有份。谁用钱最多很容易就算得出来。