2020

 Randomly go somewhere, met random person. They also know the rest of the kids are overseas and never take care of parents. haha. How much things this woman spreads?  Even my secondary school teacher also knows. True colours. Took me too long to know a fox in the house. A big virus more like it. haha. Now installing anti-virus everywhere not sure got use ma. Not the first one stating the same thing.

 Doing good to me or using me? Even if you do good to me also didn’t required you to disrespect or undermine me. Ownself so fake said other people fake. Behind talk bad about other people in front smile and praise. Some more about the people who helped them. Couldn’t help look down on them too. I also did good to you so I can undermine you anyhow I like. I merely do what you do to me you already angry. I treated you like a family and respected you but now you lost all the respect so don’t put the fault on me when you break the string first. Some more your character started showing a long long time ago. You didn’t change, you are getting worst. Treat you like gold, you treated me as shit. Once useless, tried to siam as soon as possible. Worst still, putting me as the problem solved all your problems. I also realised why you suddenly unhappy even more than before when I came back. You are worried I would take all that belongs to you. So just prove how greedy you are. I don’t even hav...

 Oh. No wonder she kept on trying to undermine me. Cause she worried I will take over the company. So there was a reason for how she treated me all these while. The law changed. So easily you can change someone. 我的热脸一直贴冷屁股这么久。还以为我做错什么。 原来 backstabbed me a long time liao. I always thought she was in a bad mood only. I didn’t take it to heart like I normally do. Now it seems, I should have take it to heart earlier on then my parents wouldn’t have suffered so much. That time I was still looking for a job. Can anytime come back.  原来拒绝我的帮忙是这个原因。然后继续投诉。

 The selfish one. Just lie more and more. Use how badly you are hurt while you are hurting others despite them helping you. When people retaliate, oh, how hurtful you have been. I saw that. So far, it is always about them. All these years. About them. When you tried your tricks with me, remember, it was me seeing your true colours. Turn the stories all you want. You know what you have done. Everyone needs to be responsible for them. What about the one who never get any concerns? We don’t get to cry. Only they get to. We are not right to even complain. Only they can. Want to see our room before and after? Want to see the work hours I put in? Want to see how sick I was until I finally quit? No. That is not hurtful. They don’t even think we deserve to spend the money we earned. Talked so much. Stuff you bought far exceeds what I bought. How poor thing that you cannot spend all the money I earned? Oh ya, it is because I get to study for my degree. Oh, I get to move to Singapore to wor...

 How we have been “abusing” these people? How they live? How bad of us to let them live like these? Big TV in the room not big enough.  Tuition room provided. How bad of us?  Want to see our room from young til now? See who 好吃好住。You woke up 1 hr earlier than me. But I went to bed 2-3 hours later.

 They can deny everything but my truth can easily be proven. Take out all documentation, it is there. Tell other people I 好吃好住。All these while all we said are good things about her but what she said? Even her colleague tells me I 好吃好住。If I take pictures, who is the one? Who is the one in big houses? Who is the one living in a room with paid rentals? Who is the one working day and night? Yet, the money given to who?  They already 白住。If they don’t cook? then it is 白吃白住。I have to tell this earlier before someone tried to paint us even darker. Already started for a few years.

 A person said she is kind but attack the person who helped her before. Or attacked the people who gave her what nobody gets for free. Entering our family, we welcome her. Everybody has their fair bit of doing work but this person can make it seemed like we abused her. She cooked and eat with us and at the time I was helping. Only 2 days in a week for Form 4 and 5 I would be in extra classes. Me being 8 already helping in the shop or factory. Me being 14, already started cooking for family. I was like Form 2 or 3? From primary 6, I already helping my mum with clearing and washing the dishes while my older sister watch TV. Her hands were peeling and cannot wash. If I have known, I would have complained my hands were peeling too. It did but I did not peel it off that it bleeds. After school, I helped cook and after eat, I went to my mum’s shop or dad’s factory to help. At night, I warm up the meal and after dinner, wash the dishes and packed the rubbish. Always the one who cooked use...

 撒谎的人撒到不知到哪里了。撒惯了还以为是真的。好吃好住。😄😆 

 Parents don’t even want to waste money on broom and fan . Kid bought robot vacuum for wife. Said saving. Parents don’t even have a proper TV , son bought big TV. Everything asked from others and worked so many years, yet never saved anything? how is that possible?  Liars and Cheater. May you get what you deserve.  我的闲是为了让有心机的人不得逞。 Do things for 15 years and wanted to claim the things people done for 50 years.

Sometimes the people you think never existed in real life but in TV drama actually existed in real life. The scenes, the conversations and plot. Sometimes, you have to join the act because I realised they have been treating me like a dumb when I am lenient and let them make use of me. Needs people help but kept on bad mouthing them behind. It is quite addictive and I think I can master it. This doesn’t require much brain actually. Just need to act without thinking twice that you might hurt their pride. For a long time, I give back what they gave. Ungratefulness does not worth anything. There were times I think someone spread stories. Then take it to their advantages and got the reaction they wanted from people who were afar. I knew my parents but I don’t really know these people actually. who is telling the truth? Are they using these people or did things really happened. If my mum took a step back and you didn’t make the effort to do the same, actually there is no point in keeping pea...

 I think sometimes it was God’s whispering. I was just stuck there and somehow, I thought of things I never thought. So far, they have hidden quite a lot of things from me. From the beginning and with my temper, I would probably never stayed this long. One thing is money, second thing is once I settled, I don’t like moving even if it was the wrong choice, I believe I have the ability to make right. By God’s grace, I was always one line away from failing.  I was like waiting for them to give me the hardware, so far, none I have received on time. None were working 100% but the only thing that I chose to believe in is they have tried their best. That way, I can continue. Few days ago while testing my new app, I decided to just go with the board without the required hardware. Turned out, it was no longer needed with the new board. As always, this is how they worked. If I didn’t have work experience, this would be like a no-no for me. However, I always have two books that collect t...

 I guess I sprained my foot from playing badminton. Normally we played to keep the ball from dropping. Currently, a bit difficult to change to not let the opponent get the shuttlecock. Guess I am old and have not been exercising. I used to sprain my foot and just felt like nothing happened but today, it hurts. OMG. Yesterday I soldered my first speaker. I wanted to clear up all my things. I bought a diy speaker and it was supposed to be readily soldered. I don’t know how, the seller managed to get the first order delivered to wrong address and cancelled, second order delay and finally it comes unassembled. In the end, I got it for free because I bought the assembled one. Anyway, when I turned on the speaker, I felt accomplished and amused. I guess people who have done it a thousand times would have the “cheh” feeling but to me, this is like the first time I ever soldered the whole board. I made a mess. Managed to spoil my short pants… My favourite one some more. The soldering flux ...

 While listening to an old course material, I wondered why the lecturer always speak so fast. I then realised my old settings was set at 1.5x playback rate. No wonder… It remembered my old settings even at different devices.

 人以为被看不起的是自己的无知。其实是自己的无理。无理取闹。无理要求。无理对待。再加上无知，什么都不是。 It doesn’t require a fool to be a fool. Not so to be wise.

 If a person keeps on telling lies to you, and you never double confirm with another, when things happened, all the balls will be on your court. Same for any messages passed or fact told. The other person has no responsibility over things they never said and done. The person who said it can shunned away as much as the lie that was told. Misunderstanding starts from there. That’s the least problem that could cause. Just a lesson I learned in the past. Even bad guys have lawyers access because before these guys were judged, they were not guilty until proven. Same for the other side. Although it wasn’t always the case but it would have more implications than when none were done. 

 Why would you need my code if your code no problem? 

 I got off work. I took MRT back home. In the MRT, I heard alarm that is as loud as the buzzer in the office. Funny thing is, I looked up. It came from a baby squealing in a baby seat while playing with his/her dad. I should have record the sound and make it the sound of a buzzer. Well, it’s more like the police car siren. How does such  tiny things make such loud noise? There are too many I realised but then better than when not.

 I started with WinForms, then WPF, UWP and finally WinUI3. The way to use them doesn’t differ much. For that, switching between doesn’t take too much effort. However, as you move on to the newer framework, you will realised there is more and more bug. Each Framework more bug than the predecessors. Some like multi-touch that results in app crash. Even the template given or the examples given from books, crashed without mercy. So it means what? Why we cannot just improve the UI without affecting functionality? WPF was fine with both. Then UWP and WinUI suppose to replace it but why will u want to replace it with something that doesn’t do well and the lack of functionality. Shouldn’t it be an improvement and ease of use compared to WPF and WinForm. It is easy to use but either lacks function or the function goes along with a bug… Is it because AI developed it or because too little AI developing it? Not sure. After developing sometimes on WinUI 3, I realised the app has a feature that...

 Was in Brunei for 10 days. The hot sun and eating out were part of my daily routine. After eating breakfast, we went home. After a while, we go for lunch. Then back home again, we go for dinner. It felt like time passed fast in Brunei. I am also tired even though I don’t do much work. I gave my Dad RM2.5K. My dad gave RM4.7K to my brother to pay for my Dad and sister house loan. The house in jb like still half way to go. Felt like everytime I gave my Dad money, it was given to that.  Dad is 1 year shy from 80. Still working. He has been in Brunei since 1970s. There bounds to be people he knew everywhere we went. He stayed in each district for some times in the past before settling in our current house. He has nothing when he reached Brunei. Only a motorbike and a few hundreds dollars. He did odd jobs, and only like last week I knew he has two gf before my mum. We went to Sungai Liang for his birthday for breakfast. It was an old road side restaurant which was there since he f...

 I found the clue that left me puzzled for a long time. I left a crucial clue. I saw it today. It means they are the gang. Actually, good acting can be bad. Bad acting can be good. Good people can be good but the one most likely to be good can be bad and not entirely bad. Bad people can be bad but not entirely bad. They have one goal in common though. People starts from in front of the mountain and I started from back. While I surpassed and still have to give out my bottle of water and make me the culprit. One thing I do know if something like this can go on for years and nobody actually gives anything, what did that mean? Sigh. This is tiring because it is all about tech debt. The beat around the bushes and plenty of lies and most worrying of all why do I need to answer for some products that people have spent for five years at least to perfect it but still not yet need what I feedback to do right? yet not wanting to mention about it. why? because if it is from me, it is not a sol...

 Hiring done by AI. Applying also done by AI. No human involved. Pretty brilliant. Hiring for the wrong job scope. Applying for the wrong job scope. Just fire and hire again. I got a job invitation for swimming instructor. Part time only. Well, salary higher than my full time job. I didn’t know how to swim… Can be diving instructor. Go down and never come up. Ah. Should have learn swimming when I was younger. My grandpa was right. My mum told me that grandpa told her all his grandchildren should learn how to swim. we didn’t learn though. There was no swimming pool nearby. The only swimming pool was like an hour away. stadium.

Software is a never ending thing. Hardware is a never ending thing. Should find a ware which is not soft and not hard. I think we should stop struggling with a thing that wasn’t done properly. Sometimes I cannot tell who is bad or who is good… So I keep things neutral until I know who is really bad. I felt tired though. I wonder what they are really up to. I am the uncertainty though. Just “hang” on. It is like a “hex” type of problem. Sometimes, I felt like I am close to the end. Sometimes, I felt like I am balancing stuff. Sometimes, it’s a bad decision you have to suffer from. There is always a one last problem. One last ticket. One last quick fix. Quick fixes were the true crime. It fixed stuff temporarily at a fast pace but when you have more and more… Like a stacked pancakes. I felt like scrapping everything and rewrite. Probably will take shorter time than endless quick fixes. I once did it. I did the problem for a week. Deadline is two weeks. No matter how I tried I worried I c...

 Need to vent my anger a bit. I was doing and doing. No matter what I did and no matter which sample I followed. It worked with debug but not release. Turned out to be config issue… For two days… While I could be done and eating carrots now… Another thing about failure is the step towards success. I found a hundred possibilities for the app to fail… So much more unknown… found new one… ☝️ How can there be so many things to get it to fail. I realised my wpf mvc method was saint. mvvm a bitch. There are so many things that could crash because of it.

 Guess what. The reason why I cannot get it back to working condition is because of Microsoft Edge… I asked God about it. Google Chrome asked me if I want to install it. I installed. Thereafter, my problem solved. ChatGpt suggested me what I suggested to it… Then kept me in a loop that I repeat and repeat. It did good though for factual cmd prompts. I finally have my sound back… What a relief. Who is the actual good guy?? Sometimes I think I know why our boss did certain things. Actually he was helping us. He asked us to change for some reason but to our benefit also. I am pretty straightforward person so there is really no need to beat around the bushes… I don’t like beating around the bushes too. Anyway. I found the problem was like a chance. I was doing halfway and there it is. If I have let it load and load again, probably the whole thing would be gone. It is like spotting a shooting star. There was one time, I just have the feeling of looking outside the window. Quite a few ye...

 It has been two days… I am still debugging the audio controller… Google hasn’t been giving accurate info these days… ChatGpt gives me nothing that Google has already not give… What AI…

 It takes time to know someone. Let go of the killer then the killer will come after you. Witness a crime? you will be their next kill. The writer of The 100 must have gone through a lot to depicting it all in a show. Humans are full of weaknesses and surprises. I wonder if God did gave me a hint but I failed to take it. Sometimes being the last person on earth may not be a bad thing after all. Even better when there is a dog regardless of you being allergic to it. The moment it ran away, I can felt the panic. Only to see her friends, those who were through thick and thin willing to give up their “transcendence”, joined her, then I felt better but there is more people who I think should be there weren’t. Like Bellamy who trusted the wrong person with his new found belief which is proven to be the truth. Who got killed anyway because he nearly betrayed his own best friend. He should be there along with Lexa, Abby, Kane, and Diyoza. The Luna that went lunatic after her whole clan got...

 I was watching The 100. Woken up with the harrowing thought of AI invading our life. Also, what if it doesn’t invade. Mostly, what could happen to a world filled with raging wars. The series deeply affected my thoughts and like it was crunching my heart for the past few weeks of watching and that I would wake up in the middle of night, just to think about it. It was far harder to think than my code. Sometimes I have something that was so difficult to solve, and I would be doing it in my dreams again and again but just as I was about to solve it, I woke up. I need to finish it before it’s removed from Netflix. Sometimes I can relate that this world is going to that direction somehow. People were quite similar. In life, you probably will only met those few people that were there to love and hate you. The ending was not really a happy ending but enough for me to see the villain getting killed and as to why it wasn’t a happy ending, is because almost most villain stayed till the end a...

 Before the Clock was invented, how do people say Clockwise and Anti-Clockwise.

 Watched When Life Gives You Tangerine. It is a show that portrayed more real life stories. Much like how it is with mine. At one stage, we grow. Then, the wedding stage. Then, the funeral stage, which is the stage we started attending funerals instead of wedding. This week another relative passed away. This year wasn’t the first. Last year, there are a few. Makes me think of my parents more and more. Dad worked 6 days a week since young. Sometimes even Sunday. There are times like some holidays we worked til late night or morning to rush out customers order. Those time, everything was handmade. We don’t have a lot of manpower to produce good works. The one who did will eventually leave. Yet, those times were the reasons our business survived. Those days are gone I guess. People would come to our shop because it is the only one they knew. I used to spend my free time in the factory or shop because we are always short of manpower. Like when I was 8, I was cutting metals strips for w...

 The amount I spent on learning before applying actually costed me more money until I do enough work. Still learning process is still needed even while working.  Doing things subconsciously can make the easiest problem complicated. Could be your old habits or subconscious typing or the auto correction? hm.. This one is more like my habit. It is a hard to catch error when we did like that. I was thinking what goes wrong and no matter what I did, it would not return my desired results. Turned the code that I wrote previously and just a line only which I overlooked while checking, was blocking the rest of the changes… Dangerous code is the counter code that you wrote to right a wrong or blocking the wrong from working. That’s normally a temporary solution but the solution turned out to be preventing me doing other works… sigh… 😮‍💨  Today’s a lucky day and I found it while doing another part… so it is good not to always focus on one problem. The other problem could be the c...

 I grew up in a small town. It is called Tutong town. I went back for cny and stayed at The Lanes which used to be called Halim Plaza. Only managed to stay for 1 night though. When it was first built, as kids, we used to go up and down the spiral way on foot to get up to the car park which never opened even after the building was completed. It was the tallest building that ever happened in that small town. There is a supermarket there called Sim Kim Huat. At first, there was only Soon Lee and Teguh Raya. Teguh Raya no longer opened. The first department store Hua Ho and a cinema opened for quite some time around the area too. Probably the center point of all the fun moved to these place which weren’t there before. It used to be jungle there. Probably I have biked through it once but cannot really remember. We were kids and we thought we can go everywhere with a bicycle. Back then it’s like a resort. Everywhere was green. Now more like a ghost town. Memories there were vague.  ...

 Every year, you counted down to the day of another year… Human beings are just amazing in a certain way. I wonder if animals and plants do know the presence of time. Do birds feather grow white as they grew older? Recently I saw a few white pigeons. There is always one downstairs. I witnessed the fine of feeding pigeons grow from 1k to 10k. Still people fed them. They still did that despite the 10k fine. What gives them the courage to risk the 10k fine. Anyway just wake up early in the morning and feed or when there is nobody else but the time I found the feedings was like 6:30, 8:30, 9:30 and sometimes afternoon. The birds know when to fly over as well. They must be having a good body clock.