2020

The worst thing about doing things as design somehow drives me crazy. I saw a page that is hideous and so I chop chop and done. Not until I saw the next page, I felt like grabbing the designers and throw them out of planet earth. I have to repeat the same information over and over again for the convenience of the user but why need so when it has been done before. It is not an editor and it is not a newspaper or notebook… The information is emailed and printed. At the end of the flow, I have a dozen of objects and a dozen of table processing all the information. I chopped a dozen of trees and the last page, I have to repeat again. Having a big data structure was crazy enough. The UI…. crazy enough too. I have to redo the struct or edit the struct to meet what was needed on that last page… Sigh… The requirement is getting larger so is the data. Sometimes, I guess we need to reject to keep the data healthy. Else, it is going to accumulate more and more to compensate for the none linear re...

 Guess a lot has been going on and I have been missing out. It used to feel bad but then now it feels as if it was a common thing to miss out that you don’t actually crave for it anymore. I guess the most that I have been missing out was my life. Where have it been missing is the question why. What am I chasing after? no longer the same as it was. Should I find out or not?

Wah. I have a degree in Dishwashing. I am the person who has 20 years of experience in Dishwashing. I can't wait to put my skills to it. My weakness is I don't like Dishwashing, I liked the money 💰💰💰. Finally, the skill has some money that comes with it. I have been doing it for free. 😁 Big news! If I didn't renew my contract, I would have applied. Maybe I don't have a degree. I have a Master in Dishwashing. 8 hrs of work is just nice.  

Watch Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. Just completed season 5 after fast forwarding through most of the scene. Season 1 always the best. The rest of the Season is just to survive. The second one I think was much better was Season 5 where both Buffy and Willow became much stronger. Some parts were still funny for other seasons. Aunty kept asking me when will I start working again since I have been hogging her tv. Sometimes, when I am done waiting, I will just do things myself. Or I don't do at all. Well, depends on what should I do. If that's the bottleneck preventing the next step, then I would. If I still have stuff to take care of, I wouldn't. Doing the same old thing for too long feels like when the world has changed, I am just done change to the world that was before the change.  After working for 2 days from a week of resting and watch all the things I never watched, reaching home at night makes me feel sleepy. I am tired already. I need another holiday 😔. Well, the app I ...

 😭😭😭😭😭 Tomorrow start work again… sad

 Sigh.

 Still not receiving when I can take my passport… Where did it go? passport making frenzy still up? Sigh. 选择困难症。 Did I make the wrong decision? sigh… I really not sure if this is correct. Anyway, I always regret after I decided… I also regret if I don’t decide. Was thinking of going back home for 3 months instead of few weeks if I don’t renew. I renewed but somehow I felt wronged. If I don’t, I also feel wronged. Why everything needs a decision? Can’t it be happy ending always? All the things I never said was actually more important than what I have said. The call was made when I least expected. Sigh. The opportunity that I was so excited about but had to tell them about not pursuing further. Is that the right choice? hmmmm… The laptop, the wifi, the indecisive specs, the monstrous db, the whole timesheet thing that were all forgotten now came back after the call. That should happen during the call. Let’s just hope it all worked without the need to go through all that again. For an...

Spending the whole afternoon and night making the passport. Finally it has been done. Paid for the photo making online but it was not submitable. In the end, I went to the shop for photo taking. Applied online and that's it. 😁 I realised my chin was very double. hehehe after looking back at my older ic and driving license photo, at least the double chin not there. That was like before I quit my second job. sigh.  Birthday was good. Got a cake (which my sis went Payar Lebar to take) and a Purple Leather Notebook (Brother always know). I spent the entire day playing final fantasy 9. One of my to do list done. I wanted to finish it since secondary school. Over 10+ years only manage to finish one FF9. Never play any other. I played cheat a bit because I didn't know it was in cheat mode for some until I off it. The final boss Necron, I have to turn on battle assistance mode. hehehe... Cos I just want to be at the ending and somehow, I played it a bit wrong which I finally realised ...

 So in the end… 😔  I think o, scrap everything and redo, maybe will be faster. Cello tapes here and there…I quite fed up with this working method. Die ten times, probably, still going back to the same thing. 

 something i needed to do but i don’t remember what…

  It has been two days. Still in Lecture 1. One thing I admired about this lecture, the slides does not contain notes and I understood them perfectly. Too bad, nothing to read back if I have to revise. I can just replay the video. Anyway, Apple has the same idea as me. Pinning my notes. Using the exact same pin. Just saw MacBook update. :) meaning my idea is 👍.

 Connecting the dots. Got my first birthday cake from colleagues. Actually, they were buying a cake but I thought they were talking about receiving the MacBook after they just ordered and approved. When I turned around, what they carried seems to be a cake more than a macbook. I don’t pay 100 percent attention to my surroundings. Sometimes, I am right in front of you but I have entered wonderland. The reception was maybe 10-20%. Well, not used to these and once in a while, I dunno where is my head. Wish everyone good health and wealth and work less with no bugs. 😬  I am supposed to be on my online course now… but after I reached home already tired. I washed my clothes on Saturday, it rained until today… See.  I am still thinking if I want to pay to get a certified cert or just take the free lessons and no cert. I just worry every night come back and dropped dead…

 Instead of not sending both, I sent to both. If it was meant to be then it is meant to be. If not, it is not meant to be. Now, I did hope I never send both. Mainly due to the comments. 

  :) I guess I have not been supporting the wrong fast food. Not that it was healthy or not. I guess it was just something that ur parents won’t let u do and every time you had the chance, you took it. Fast food was actually expensive unhealthy food in my mum’s dictionary. So does instant noodles and snack food. When I earned my own salary, the things that I craved for was all of the above. Psychologically bonded to them. Even though I knew it, I succumbed to it.  To me all food is the same. They are cooked food but I think only cleanliness is different. When you cook your own food, you know where your food came from. Hope McD kept that in mind. I am getting fatter but I guess any food I eat I will also grew fat… Maybe… Probably a workout routine needed. I think I shall need a time where I don’t use a phone or the laptop. I don’t celebrate birthday a lot. Thanks to those whom I have celebrated my birthday with. There was once in my first year during Uni time, while I was in th...