Maybe I accepted this job really too early. I have applied to some jobs but there were no reply… So I just tell myself to accept any job that accept me first. After I accepted and signed the offer, somehow people called and emailed to ask if I am still available… Some are pretty good company. However, I also worry they just ask only and when I apply, then it is all test and interviews. I couldn’t sleep after receiving the message. It does seem like I have been too early to accept. I cannot be greedy also. As for this job, the nature of it is a bit different than I thought. The good part is some parts I never done before. Like low level programming. The last time was like Year 1 of Uni and my time at NTU for micro-controller. It was a mess and I barely passed it. Anyway, just see how this job goes. Most important thing is, my boss is buying new laptop for me to use. I didn’t even ask. He so good I also paiseh to change job now. The only thing that is really far behind was the salary compared to the ones that called me to apply. I hope there are still chances in the future. Anyway, I found this job is because I thought it was part time. Money a bit more than part time but less than real full time. I am in a dilemma. I like trying new things but at the same time I like money too. Letting go of that good opportunities I wonder when will it come again. Another thing was that the bosses like very ON with the stuffs they do.
有些事就只能是遗憾。这是一堂课。最难的一堂课。我想我唯一办到的就是当了工程师。剩下的就只能是遗憾。如果少了这一点我想那我就完全是个遗憾。我想走到这一步，并不是我自己一个人能走的。它不是天上掉下来的。是我在井里时看到别人丢给我的一条绳子。我就抓住了它。好久好久。有的时候好想放开却又不放。松了又紧握着。一层一层的用力爬。遇到各种各样的问题，我一直找答案。以前大人都说难题放一边，要先做简单的题目。这样可以拿一些分数。可是我不知道为什么我说不听。我喜欢从第一题做到最后。当我有一题不会做的时候我会很难受。放不开的一直在那题绕着死都不放。如果在考试结束了我还做不到，这个关我过不了。会一直留在心里。非常难受。很难受。 如果我可以在结束前想到答案，就算我好多题都没有答，那一天我还是会很开心的。应为我解决了一个难题。成就感比及格更重要。当然我妈的藤编是躲不过的。我想我是自讨苦吃。长大了我就会在乎分数。很不愿意的都先答我会的。。。虽然是这么做了，可是我很痛苦。。。有时候会习惯的一直先解决觉得比较难的问题。然后一堆很快可以解决的却放一边。。。瓶颈在哪里我就会在哪里。拿着罐头开，死命的敲。就算所有的小事都解决了，这个瓶颈还是过不了。尽然过不了，那些小事就白做了。有的时候那里来的选择。人走的每一段路都会有难题。你跳过了。问题会追着你跑。幸运的可以搭顺风车逃离。不幸运的会被问题追上。勇敢的就去面对问题。我只觉得小时候的勇敢，不怕考试不及格就为了那一题已经没有了。只能靠着只想普普通通的过一关算一关。能躲一关也是一关。 小时候的梦想其实只是长大以后的笑话。只是一点都不好笑。想去的演唱会，想做的事。。。会跟着时间消失。。。就是完成不了的。不是努力就可以的。。。感受也会慢慢的麻木。梦想如果可以真实一点失望就不会那么大。虽然有一些动力但是是不对的动力。有些事也改变不了了。别人以为的小事。如果你经历过，在和我说是小事。我不会报复性的说这只是小事。应为我知道不是。如果我不是以前的我，我不会这么做。应为以前的我也觉得是小事。
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