2020

 Was playing back my old list in Youtube. Since wfh, my side laptop is my best friend. I couldn’t even remember I added some songs and it is as if I have never heard of them before. It keeps me awake for all the rushing I need now. Was doing till 2:30 am… sigh. Now, couldn’t really find a good laptop for working. Most 4*s and above belongs to MacBook… for programming…

 

 都不知道是什么事，大家都会说没事的安慰。 好多事都来的太迟了。好多的帮助只要时间过了，等于没有，剩下的只是讽刺。错过就是错过了。遗憾不会别人说了就不会遗憾了。你到哪里它都会在。只有黑暗里你看不到它的影子。活着的就继续在黑暗里才能活着。其实生命早就结束了，光还是暗都无所谓。每个人都会为自己，为别人，冒着掉进黑暗里的可能。当着不让他们也掉进黑暗里。然后为自己掉进黑暗的人 是什么样的人。它会是黑暗里的天使 还是 阳光下的恶魔？还是这世界上从来都没有天使的存在？还是也把大家都拉到黑暗里。这样他们就可以看到你的世界。他们从来都看不到的世界。就算阳光在亮，也照不完所有的黑暗。就算可以离开黑暗到阳光里生活，但过不了的不是黑暗到阳光的世界，是自己的那一关。后悔没有药。阳光下的日子不长 有谁又可以一直在那阳光下微笑着奔跑。而我懂得说再见。偶尔遇见和自己一样的人而感到突然的解放。可是再好的相遇还是会别离。应为它可能只是一场梦。 每一个人都以为人会跟着时间变了。可是会不会只是你从来都没有认识这个人呢？还是等着时间过了，看过的人多了，才能看出一个人的变化。也许他们都带着面具。也许有些人只是丢掉了面具。有时候并不是想留在黑暗里，有时候只是不能原谅自己。也原谅不了别人。我想等到可以放下的那一天，可能是失意了。每件好的事就跟着失意消失了。可是想忘掉的，会一直像影子跟着你。我想是不是跟影子做朋友而不是摆脱它，会不会就更好？只有成为恶魔才不会怕恶魔。不是吗？跟着阿姨看的一个电影里写的。 只有不去感受，就不会痛。等着我的世界消失的那一天。

 砸电脑？ As I have predicted, the more screens I added, my laptop's capability won't be able to load. This is the third time I am restarting after adding 3 more screens to it... 我很想砸电脑。大一点东西就卡。。。。

 刚刚开始打。。。。。not responsive again!!!! 王 八 蛋 

 7.40 pm restart 7:52 pm start program required to code. recover selected file (might take some time) probably I should sleep for a while. Haven't start sql yet. Worry it crashed if I start all at the same time. it is loading now. loading loading loading..... 07:56 pm one of it loaded. Another one still opening file.... 07:57 pm still loading, I just start sql 07:58 pm program two completed loading, sql hasn't pop up anything yet. oops. just as I said, I saw the starting program. 08:02 pm sql still loading..... my program not responding everytime I typed in something. RAM is high. 08:04 pm sql loading completed... 08:05 pm vpn connection established. Connect sql Typical start up done.

 The reason is the McAfee scanner service. sigh... Actually. think McAfee is not smart enough to tell whether there is a malicious program or not. It tells by the .exe and whatever extension with whatever malicious extension that has been reported. It cannot tell until somebody has fallen for it before.... And then making everything real slow. Hell, waiting for the laptop to start. Another half an hour gone.